BCification: The Pacific Partnership

The Situation: While Alberta files adoption papers for Texas and Manitoba warmly invites Minnesota, British Columbia takes a characteristically west coast approach: we are building a Pacific partnership by adopting Oregon AND Hawaii.

Why Oregon?

• Portland and Vancouver are basically the same city with different exchange rates
• Shared love of craft beer, legal cannabis, and passive-aggressive environmentalism
• Cascadia has been a dream for decades - time to make it official
• They have Portlandia, we have whatever Victoria is doing
• Rain is not weather, it is lifestyle - and we both understand that

Why Hawaii?

• BC already has more Hawaiians per capita than anywhere outside the islands
• Maui wildfires showed they need better emergency management - we have that
• Pacific Rim tourism synergies: ski Whistler in winter, surf Maui in summer
• They understand volcanos, we understand earthquakes - tectonic solidarity
• Universal healthcare means no one goes bankrupt from a surfing accident

Why BC?

• Universal healthcare since 1968 - aloha means no medical bankruptcy
• 98%% renewable electricity from hydro - the cleanest grid in North America
• Already the most Asian-influenced province - Pacific identity runs deep
• We legalized cannabis federally before Oregon did - progressive credentials intact
• Vancouver film industry means Hollywood North meets actual Hollywood

This is satire. But it is satire with ocean views. While Alberta goes bold and Manitoba goes friendly, BC goes... both directions at once. That is very on brand.

If the continent is being reorganized anyway, should we not do it with a sunset view and locally-sourced appetizers?

Washington gets left confused. That is also very on brand.