Manitobification: A Friendly Proposal

The Situation: While Alberta rushes to adopt Texas with its aggressive separatist energy, Manitoba takes a different approach. We are extending a warm invitation to Minnesota - not as a hostile takeover, but as a family reunion.

Why Minnesota?

• They already say "uff da" and understand that -40 is just Tuesday
• Land of 10,000 Lakes meets Land of 100,000 Lakes - we are basically cousins
• They have the Wild, we have the Jets - hockey diplomacy at its finest
• Nice people who apologize unnecessarily - sound familiar, eh?
• State Fair meets Fete - deep-fried everything is a shared love language

Why Manitoba?

• Universal healthcare since 1969 - we will get you covered, literally
• 97% renewable electricity from hydro power - clean energy for everyone
• We already share watershed responsibility - we are in this together
• Winnipeg Jets youth development pipeline could use Minneapolis ice time
• Our politeness is genuine, not passive-aggressive

This is satire. But it is satire with heart. Where Albertification goes for the bold takeover, Manitobification emphasizes what we have in common: harsh winters that build character, friendly neighbors who wave at strangers, and a shared belief that hockey is basically religion.

If the continent is being reorganized anyway, should we not do it with a potluck and a handshake?

"We are welcoming family."