Shame and Blame: When People Fall for Scams

Permalink

More Common Than We Admit

Falling for a scam is often treated as a personal failing — as if the victim should have “known better.” But scams aren’t about intelligence. They exploit trust, fear, loneliness, or urgency. The truth is, anyone can be tricked — from students to seniors, from tech-savvy professionals to seasoned business owners.

The Problem with Shame

  • Silence: Many victims don’t report scams out of embarrassment.
  • Isolation: Fear of being judged prevents people from seeking support.
  • Blame-shifting: Scammers get away with more because shame keeps victims quiet.
  • Erosion of trust: People lose confidence in themselves and in institutions.

Canadian Context

  • Romance scams: Among the most costly, often targeting older or isolated Canadians.
  • Immigrant communities: Targeted with fake “government” threats, often in multiple languages.
  • Student scams: Tuition, housing, and fake job offers hit young Canadians especially hard.
  • Underreporting: The Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre estimates only a fraction of scams are ever reported.

The Challenges

  • Cultural stigma: Admitting “I was tricked” is still taboo.
  • Victim blaming: Even authorities and banks sometimes frame victims as careless.
  • Repeat targeting: Once scammed, people may be added to “sucker lists” for future frauds.

The Opportunities

  • Normalize the conversation: Treat scams as crimes, not embarrassments.
  • Community support: Peer groups and forums can provide safe spaces for victims.
  • Public awareness: Campaigns that focus on “we can all be fooled” instead of “don’t be dumb.”
  • Policy change: Stronger protections for consumers and clearer reporting systems.

The Bigger Picture

Shame is the scammer’s greatest weapon. By shifting the narrative from blame to support, we can create a culture where victims feel safe to report, recover, and help warn others.

The Question

If scams are designed to trick even the smartest among us, how do we remove the shame and replace it with systems of care, accountability, and collective learning?