GOVERNMENT OF CANADA
DEPARTMENT OF INTERGOVERNMENTAL AFFAIRS
FORM SK-AD3: NOTICE OF INTENT TO RECEIVE CHILDREN FOR ADOPTION
Filed pursuant to the International Adoption and Territorial Incorporation Act (hypothetical), R.S.C. 2024, c. A-7.2
TO: The Minister of Intergovernmental Affairs, Ottawa
CC: The Prime Minister's Office (if they're reading their mail)
CC: The Governor General (for ceremonial awareness)
CC: Whoever Actually Handles These Things
FROM: The Province of Saskatchewan
RE: Formal Notice of Intent to Receive the States of North Dakota and South Dakota into the Canadian Federation through Provincial Adoption
NOTICE
The Province of Saskatchewan hereby formally notifies the Government of Canada of its intent to adopt the American States of North Dakota and South Dakota as dependent territories under provincial jurisdiction, pursuant to provisions that should probably exist but might need to be invented.
DETAILS OF PROPOSED ADOPTION
| Adopting Province: | Saskatchewan |
| Children to be Adopted: | North Dakota and South Dakota (jointly, as a package deal) |
| Current Guardian: | United States of America |
| Proposed Relationship: | Full provincial adoption with territorial status pending constitutional amendment |
| Timeline: | As soon as bureaucratically possible (estimated: 15-40 years) |
RATIONALE
Saskatchewan provides this Notice for the following reasons:
- Geographic Sensibility: The Dakotas are directly south of Saskatchewan, connected by the same prairie ecosystem, the same aquifers, and the same inexplicable dedication to growing wheat in challenging conditions.
- Cultural Compatibility: Saskatchewan and the Dakotas share:
- Indigenous nations whose territories predate and transcend the current border
- A deep suspicion of coastal elites
- An understanding that -30°C is "sweater weather"
- Similar approaches to modesty and understatement
- Humanitarian Concern: The Dakotas currently lack universal healthcare, and Saskatchewan is morally obligated to intervene before another family goes bankrupt from a broken leg.
- Sibling Welfare: The Twins must not be separated. Saskatchewan is the only Canadian jurisdiction positioned to adopt both simultaneously.
REQUESTED FEDERAL ACTIONS
Saskatchewan respectfully requests that the Government of Canada:
- Acknowledge receipt of this Notice (form letter acceptable, genuine engagement preferred);
- Begin diplomatic negotiations with the United States regarding potential territorial transfer;
- Establish a Parliamentary Committee to review constitutional implications;
- Refrain from mentioning this to Quebec until the paperwork is complete;
- Allocate appropriate resources for integration planning;
- Forward all relevant forms, of which there are presumably many.
PROVINCIAL COMMITMENTS
Saskatchewan undertakes to:
- Fund the integration of both Dakotas into provincial systems;
- Extend healthcare, education, and social services to all new residents;
- Respect existing Indigenous treaty rights and land claims;
- Maintain Mount Rushmore as a heritage site (with potential addition of Canadian figures, TBD);
- Not complain about the additional federal transfers this might require (much);
- Handle all inquiries from confused Americans with patience and bilingual signage.
EXPECTED RESPONSE
Saskatchewan anticipates one of the following federal responses:
| Response Type | Probability | Saskatchewan's Reaction |
|---|---|---|
| Enthusiastic support | 3% | Suspicion, followed by gratitude |
| Polite acknowledgment with no action | 45% | Expected, will follow up in 6 months |
| Referral to committee | 35% | Will send snacks to committee meetings |
| Complete silence | 15% | Will assume tacit approval |
| Laughter | 2% | Will wait for them to realize we're serious |
DATED at Regina, Saskatchewan, this _____ day of __________, 20____.
___________________________________
PROVINCE OF SASKATCHEWAN
Department of Intergovernmental Affairs
(Expansion Division)
Please direct all responses to:
Province of Saskatchewan
c/o Legislative Building
2405 Legislative Drive
Regina, SK S4S 0B3
Canada (for now)