FORM BC-AD5: Character References for British Columbia (Complete Set)
SUPREME COURT OF BRITISH COLUMBIA
FAMILY DIVISION
FORM BC-AD5: CHARACTER REFERENCES FOR PROSPECTIVE ADOPTIVE PARENT
Collected in support of British Columbia's Application to Adopt Oregon and Hawaii
REFERENCE #1: PROVINCE OF ALBERTA
Relationship to Applicant: Neighbour (immediately to the east), Economic Partner, Occasional Adversary
Length of Relationship: Since 1871 (BC joining Confederation) and 1905 (Alberta's creation)
Character Assessment:
To Whom It May Concern,
Fine. Alberta will provide a reference for British Columbia. We were asked. We're being polite.
Our relationship with BC is... complicated. They need our oil but complain about our pipelines. They take our tourists but complain about our money. They have the coast we wish we had, and they know it.
BUT. When it comes to adopting American states, we can objectively assess that BC has certain qualities:
- Experience with diversity: BC somehow manages Vancouver, Victoria, and the Interior without completely falling apart. That's something.
- Economic management: Their economy is... different from ours. They have tech and film and tourism. It seems to work for them.
- Natural beauty: We'll admit it. They're pretty. Oregon and Hawaii would fit the aesthetic.
- Progressive values: They were doing legal cannabis before it was legal. They'd probably be fine with Oregon's... everything.
Regarding their plan to adopt TWO states: This is very BC. Ambitious, slightly impractical, but they'll probably pull it off somehow while looking effortlessly cool doing it. We find this annoying but respect it.
Regarding Hawaii: We don't understand why BC wants Hawaii. It's far away and tropical. But BC has always been... reaching. Let them reach.
Signed,
Province of Alberta
Wild Rose Country
P.S. - We're still adopting Texas. That's still happening. Our thing is bigger.
REFERENCE #2: YUKON TERRITORY
Relationship to Applicant: Northern Neighbour, Territorial Sibling, Occasional Afterthought
Character Assessment:
Hello from the Yukon.
BC has asked us to provide a reference. We'll do it, even though BC often forgets we exist until they need to drive through us to get to Alaska.
BC, as a neighbour, has been:
- Reliable (their highways work)
- Somewhat self-absorbed (but who isn't?)
- Good at managing coastline (we have very little coastline, so we defer to their expertise)
- Occasionally helpful when we need things shipped
Regarding Oregon and Hawaii:
- Oregon: Makes sense. Very Cascadia. We understand the vibe even if we don't share it.
- Hawaii: We have no opinion on Hawaii. We have never been warm enough to understand Hawaii. But if BC wants islands, that's BC's business.
We support this adoption because BC has capacity, resources, and the particular brand of ambition required to manage non-contiguous territories. Also because they asked nicely.
Signed,
Yukon Territory
Larger Than Life
P.S. - We're adopting Alaska. So we also understand the "reaching" mentality. Good luck, BC.
REFERENCE #3: STATE OF CALIFORNIA
Relationship to Applicant: Distant Neighbour, Frequent Visitor, Source of Housing Refugees
Character Assessment:
Hey BC,
California here. We heard you're adopting Oregon. And Hawaii? Wild. Very on-brand for you.
Look, we've sent a lot of our people your way over the years. Tech workers who couldn't afford San Francisco. Actors who couldn't make it in LA. People who "just needed a change" and ended up in Squamish. You've handled them pretty well. You've managed the influx without totally losing your identity. That's something.
About Oregon: Good choice. Oregon's cool. Weird, but cool. They've been next to us forever and we still don't totally get them, but that's part of their charm. They'll fit with BC. You're both rainy and judgmental about coffee.
About Hawaii: Okay, that's ambitious. Hawaii's special. Like, actually special, not just Instagram special. They've got history, sovereignty stuff, real cultural depth. If you're serious about Hawaii, you need to be serious about respecting that. Don't just adopt Hawaii for the beaches. Hawaii is more than beaches.
We support this adoption. BC seems ready. Plus, if Oregon and Hawaii go to Canada, maybe people will stop moving there from California, which means... wait, actually, that doesn't help us. Whatever. Good luck.
Signed,
State of California
The Golden State (still)
P.S. - If you want to adopt us too, we're listening. Things are... complicated down here.
REFERENCE #4: STATE OF WASHINGTON
Relationship to Applicant: Immediate Neighbour, Historical Partner, CURRENTLY FEELING VERY LEFT OUT
Character Assessment:
To Whom It May Concern,
Washington has been asked to provide a character reference for British Columbia in support of their adoption applications for Oregon and Hawaii.
We need to address something first: WHY ARE WE NOT BEING ADOPTED?
We are directly south of BC. We share a border. We share the Salish Sea. We share the Cascades. We share Pacific Northwest culture. We have Seattle, which is basically Vancouver's twin. We have been right here the whole time.
And BC is adopting OREGON? Oregon, which is SOUTH of us? And HAWAII? Hawaii, which is IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PACIFIC OCEAN?
But sure. We'll provide a reference. Here's BC's character assessment:
- Competence: High. BC is good at governing. They manage a large, complex province with multiple regions. Fine.
- Resources: Sufficient. They have the money, the infrastructure, the expertise. Fine.
- Vision: Apparently includes everyone except Washington. WHICH IS FINE.
- Judgment: QUESTIONABLE, given they are skipping their most obvious adoption choice.
We support BC's adoption applications because we are professional and because Oregon and Hawaii deserve good governance. We are not bitter. We are simply noting an oversight. A significant oversight.
Signed,
State of Washington
Directly Below BC, In Case Anyone Forgot
P.S. - Our formal application is attached. Form WASH-001. Please review at your earliest convenience. Please.
REFERENCE #5: PROVINCE OF QUEBEC
Relationship to Applicant: Distant Sibling, Cultural Counterweight, Professional Indifferent
Character Assessment:
Déclaration Officielle / Official Statement
Quebec has been made aware that British Columbia intends to adopt two American states: "Oregon" and "Hawaiʻi."
Quebec observes the following:
- These states are very far from Quebec.
- Neither state speaks French.
- BC did not consult Quebec before pursuing these adoptions.
- This is not surprising, as BC rarely consults Quebec about anything.
- Quebec is fine with this. Quebec is focused on Quebec.
Regarding BC's character:
- BC is competent, we suppose.
- BC thinks very highly of itself.
- BC believes it is "the best place on Earth." Quebec has thoughts about this claim but will not share them.
- BC has mountains. Quebec also has mountains. Quebec's mountains have more character.
- BC would probably handle Oregon and Hawaii adequately.
Quebec neither endorses nor opposes these adoptions. Quebec would like it noted that if these adoptions affect equalization payments, Quebec will have concerns. Otherwise, this is a Pacific matter, and Quebec is Atlantic (and river-based, and lake-based, and culturally distinct).
Signed,
Province of Quebec
Je me souviens
P.S. - If BC would like Quebec to care more about this matter, BC could begin by recognizing Quebec's distinct society status. Until then: bonne chance.