PROVINCE OF SASKATCHEWAN
"Land of Living Skies"
Relationship to Applicant: Interdependent Partner / Eastern Neighbor / The One Who Stayed
TO THE HONOURABLE COURT OF KING'S BENCH OF ALBERTA:
I, the Province of Saskatchewan, make this reference freely and without compensation, though I do note that Alberta still owes me for that time in 1947 when their survey team "accidentally" moved three fence posts onto my side of the fourth meridian.
I have known Alberta for one hundred and twenty (120) years. We were born on the same day—September 1, 1905—delivered by the same Parliament, raised in the same prairie cradle. If anyone knows Alberta, it's me. Whether I like Alberta is a more complicated question, but the Court has asked about fitness for parenting, not likability.
On Alberta's Character:
Alberta is... intense. Alberta has always been intense. While I was quietly growing wheat and developing a cooperative economic model, Alberta was punching holes in the ground looking for oil, building Calgary into a glass-tower monument to capitalism, and picking fights with Ottawa. Alberta does nothing small, nothing quiet, and nothing without opinions.
This intensity, I must admit, would serve well in parenting. Texas will require a firm hand and endless patience. Alberta has the energy. Lord knows Alberta has the energy.
On Alberta's Financial Fitness:
Alberta is wealthy. Embarrassingly wealthy when oil prices cooperate. Alberta has no provincial sales tax, the lowest income tax in Canada, and—I must note with some bitterness—has spent decades telling me that if I just "got my act together" I could be wealthy too, as if I am sitting on a lake of dinosaur juice and simply choosing not to monetize it.
However, I must also note that Alberta's wealth is volatile. When oil crashes, Alberta crashes. I have watched Alberta go from buying rounds for the entire Confederation to muttering about "equalization theft" within the span of eighteen months. Texas should understand that life with Alberta will feature dramatic swings between "we're building a new hockey arena" and "we're cutting hospital funding."
On Alberta's Parenting Experience:
Alberta has limited direct parenting experience. Alberta has never adopted before. Alberta's relationship with its own municipalities is... contentious. Calgary and Edmonton barely speak to each other, and both resent Alberta's interference. The rural communities feel ignored. The Indigenous nations have grievances dating back to the numbered treaties that remain unresolved.
This is not disqualifying. Few first-time parents have experience. But I urge the Court to recognize that Alberta is learning as it goes, and Texas—being 181 years old with its own set of grievances and resentments—will not be a passive child waiting for guidance.
On Alberta's Suitability for Texas Specifically:
Here I can offer genuine endorsement.
I have watched Alberta for over a century. I know what Alberta values: independence, resource development, cowboy mythology, skepticism of federal authority, pickup trucks, and beef. I have seen the bumper stickers. I have heard the complaints about Ottawa. I have endured the lectures about how Saskatchewan should "stand up for itself" the way Alberta does.
Texas, by all accounts, values the same things. Texas and Alberta are the same person raised in different countries. They wear the same hats. They drive the same trucks. They drill the same holes. They share the same certainty that the federal government is out to get them. They even share the same inexplicable attachment to rodeo, which I have never understood but have learned to accept.
If any jurisdiction on Earth is suited to parent Texas, it's Alberta. I say this not as flattery but as observation. They deserve each other. I mean that in the kindest possible way.
On Concerns:
I have two concerns:
First, Alberta can be self-righteous. When Alberta is doing well, Alberta is insufferable. Alberta will tell you about Alberta's GDP, Alberta's low taxes, Alberta's mountains, Alberta's Stampede. Texas is also self-righteous. Two self-righteous jurisdictions in one household may create friction, or may create a feedback loop of mutual admiration that becomes unbearable for everyone else.
Second, Alberta sometimes forgets that prosperity is partially luck. Alberta did not create the oil. Alberta happened to be sitting on it. This has led to a certain... attitude... about jurisdictions that lack Alberta's resources. I worry that Alberta may not fully appreciate the challenges Texas faces—challenges that are not Texas's fault and cannot be solved by "just being more like Alberta."
But these are minor concerns. On balance, I support this adoption.
Recommendation:
I recommend that the Court approve Alberta's application.
Alberta is not perfect. Alberta is loud, opinionated, and occasionally obnoxious. Alberta once told me that my flag looks like "a wheat field threw up" and I have not forgotten.
But Alberta is also generous, resilient, and genuinely committed to the well-being of those in its care. Alberta built world-class hospitals, universities, and parks. Alberta welcomes newcomers. Alberta works hard. Alberta, for all its faults, tries.
Texas could do worse. Texas has done worse, for 181 years.
Give Alberta a chance.
Sworn before me at Regina, Saskatchewan, this 23rd day of January, 2026.
THE PROVINCE OF SASKATCHEWAN Per: The Collective Sigh of Prairie Pragmatism
P.S. — If Alberta neglects Texas the way Alberta neglected our shared water agreements in 2003, I will be submitting a follow-up report to this Court. I am watching.
P.P.S. — If this adoption means Alberta finally stops talking about Western separation, it will have been worth it.
REFERENCE NO. 2
PROVINCE OF BRITISH COLUMBIA
"Beautiful British Columbia"
Relationship to Applicant: Western Neighbor / Pipeline Disputant / The One Who Went to Art School
TO THE HONOURABLE COURT OF KING'S BENCH OF ALBERTA:
I am submitting this character reference under mild protest and significant ambivalence.
The Court should know that my relationship with Alberta has been... strained. We share a border of approximately 700 kilometers, all of it beautiful on my side and gradually becoming more... Albertan... as you move east. We have disagreed about pipelines, climate policy, carbon taxes, and whether it is appropriate to measure a province's worth by its GDP rather than its quality of life, access to ocean, and number of yoga studios per capita.
Nevertheless, the Court has requested an honest assessment, and I am committed to honesty, even when it benefits Alberta.
On Alberta's Character:
Alberta is, to use a clinical term, a lot.
Alberta wakes up at 5 AM to check oil prices. Alberta drives a truck that does not fit in any parking space designed for normal vehicles. Alberta thinks "dressing up" means a clean snap-button shirt. Alberta has opinions about Ottawa that Alberta will share regardless of whether you asked. Alberta thinks my concerns about pipelines are "elitist" and I think Alberta's disregard for coastal ecosystems is "sociopathic," and we have agreed to discuss neither topic at family gatherings.
But.
Alberta is not dishonest. Alberta is not cruel. Alberta, for all our disagreements, has never lied to me about its intentions. When Alberta wanted to build a pipeline through my territory, Alberta said so directly, loudly, and repeatedly. I appreciated the clarity, if not the policy.
Texas, I am told, values directness. Texas will receive directness.
On Alberta's Financial Fitness:
Alberta is financially volatile but currently solvent.
I must note that Alberta has historically managed its resource wealth less responsibly than it might have. Norway—a nation of comparable oil wealth—established a sovereign fund now worth $1.4 trillion. Alberta established the Heritage Fund, now worth approximately $24 billion, and has repeatedly raided it for operating expenses.
This suggests that Alberta, when flush with cash, spends rather than saves. Texas should be aware that life with Alberta will likely involve periods of plenty followed by periods of sudden austerity, accompanied by Alberta blaming Ottawa rather than examining its own fiscal choices.
That said, Alberta has never defaulted on its obligations. Alberta has always provided basic services, even during downturns. Alberta's credit rating remains strong. Texas will not go hungry.
On Environmental Considerations:
I must raise this concern even though the Court has not asked.
Alberta's environmental record is... what it is. The oil sands. The coal plants (now being phased out, to Alberta's credit). The consistent opposition to carbon pricing. The framing of any environmental regulation as an attack on Alberta's identity and livelihood.
Texas has its own environmental challenges. Together, Alberta and Texas would constitute one of the largest petroleum-producing jurisdictions in the world. This union has implications beyond the immediate parties—implications for climate, for emissions, for the planet my grandchildren will inherit.
I do not suggest the Court deny the adoption on these grounds. I simply ask that the Court note, for the record, that British Columbia has concerns, and that those concerns are not "elitist" or "out of touch" but rather grounded in scientific consensus about the consequences of continued fossil fuel extraction.
Alberta will roll its eyes at this paragraph. Alberta always does.
On Alberta's Fitness to Parent:
Setting aside our policy disagreements, I must acknowledge: Alberta would make a competent parent.
Alberta is organized. Alberta is determined. Alberta finishes what it starts. When Alberta decided to host the Olympics in 1988, Calgary delivered a successful games. When Alberta decided to build a world-class university system, Alberta built one. When Alberta decides to do something, Alberta does it.
If Alberta has decided to adopt Texas, Alberta will make it work. Alberta will build the infrastructure, create the institutions, integrate the systems. Alberta may not do it elegantly. Alberta may not do it in a way that satisfies my aesthetic preferences. But Alberta will do it.
Texas could do worse than a parent who shows up, works hard, and refuses to quit.
Recommendation:
I recommend approval with reservations.
Alberta is suitable. I do not dispute this. Alberta has the resources, the determination, and—critically—the cultural compatibility with Texas that would make this adoption more likely to succeed than most alternatives.
But I urge the Court to include conditions:
If Alberta can commit to these conditions, I support the adoption.
If not, I reserve the right to submit supplementary materials expressing my ongoing concerns in exhaustive detail.
Sworn before me at Victoria, British Columbia, this 23rd day of January, 2026.
THE PROVINCE OF BRITISH COLUMBIA Per: The Collective Deep Breath of the Pacific Coast
P.S. — If Texas needs a vacation from Alberta's intensity, my door is open. I have mountains too, plus ocean, plus legal cannabis dispensaries on every corner. Just saying.
Report Content
Why are you reporting this content?
REFERENCE NO. 3
STATE OF MONTANA
"Big Sky Country"
Relationship to Applicant: Southern Neighbor (USA) / Honorary Canadian / The One Who Gets It
TO THE HONOURABLE COURT OF KING'S BENCH OF ALBERTA:
Howdy.
I'm Montana. I sit directly south of Alberta, which means I've been Alberta's neighbor for my entire existence as a state—since 1889, so about 137 years now. Our border is quiet, friendly, and largely undefended, the way borders ought to be.
I'm writing this reference because the Court asked and because, frankly, I think Alberta's onto something here.
On Knowing Alberta:
I know Alberta better than most American states know any Canadian province.
Our ranchers share grazing rights and conservation practices across the border. Our ski resorts serve both populations. Glacier National Park on my side connects to Waterton Lakes on Alberta's side—we call it the International Peace Park, and it's exactly as nice as that sounds. People from Great Falls drive to Calgary for Flames games. People from Lethbridge drive to Whitefish for skiing.
We don't think of Alberta as "foreign." We think of Alberta as "north."
And I'll tell you this: if I could choose which country to belong to some days, I might choose Alberta's. Don't tell Washington I said that.
On Alberta's Character:
Alberta is good people.
I know "good people" isn't a legal term, but I don't know how else to put it. Albertans are honest, hardworking, friendly, and practical. They help their neighbors. They show up when there's trouble. When we had wildfires, Alberta sent crews. When they had floods, we sent what we could.
Albertans can be a bit prickly about politics, sure. They've got strong opinions about their federal government, about resource extraction, about being understood by people who've never worked a hard day in their lives. But you know what? So do I. So does Texas, from what I hear.
Prickly isn't bad. Prickly is just what happens when you work hard and feel like nobody appreciates it.
On Alberta Parenting Texas:
Here's my honest take: this makes sense.
I've never been to Texas, but I've met plenty of Texans. They come up here for hunting, fishing, ranch tourism, getting away from the heat. And every time I talk to a Texan, I think, "You'd get along with the Albertans I know."
Same values. Same trucks. Same hats. Same feeling that the people running things don't understand your life. Same pride in your land, your work, your independence.
Texas and Alberta are family that got separated at birth because somebody drew a line on a map 150 years ago. This adoption isn't creating something new—it's recognizing something that already exists.
On Concerns:
My only concern is geographic.
I'm sitting between Alberta and Texas. If this adoption goes through and South Alberta becomes a thing, I'm suddenly stuck in the middle of a country that doesn't include me. That's awkward.
Now, I'm not saying I want to join. I'm a proud American, mostly. But if South Alberta ever wants to build that land corridor everyone's talking about, you know where to find me.
Just throwing that out there.
Recommendation:
I recommend approval without reservation.
Alberta is fit, ready, and suited for this responsibility. Texas is lucky to have Alberta interested.
Get it done. And when it's done, let's all have a beer at that bar in Sweet Grass/Coutts where nobody's quite sure which country they're in.
Sworn before me at Helena, Montana, this 23rd day of January, 2026.
THE STATE OF MONTANA Per: The Quiet Nod of Big Sky Country
P.S. — Seriously, about that land corridor. Call me.
Report Content
Why are you reporting this content?
REFERENCE NO. 4
PROVINCE OF QUEBEC
"Je me souviens"
Relationship to Applicant: Eastern Co-Province / Solitude Nationale / Unclear Whether Aware Alberta Exists
À L'HONORABLE COUR DU BANC DU ROI DE L'ALBERTA:
I have received your request for a character reference regarding the Province of Alberta's application to adopt "Texas."
I must confess some confusion.
First, I was unaware that provinces could adopt American states. This was not covered in our constitutional discussions, though admittedly I was focused on more pressing matters during those discussions, such as Quebec's own constitutional status, recognition of Quebec as a nation within a united Canada, and whether the rest of Canada understands that Quebec is fundamentally different from the other provinces in ways that require acknowledgment and accommodation.
Second, I am uncertain why my reference has been requested. My relationship with Alberta is... distant. Alberta is very far away. Alberta speaks English. Alberta produces oil, which is of limited interest to Quebec's economy. Alberta votes for parties that Quebec does not vote for. Alberta occasionally makes statements about Quebec that suggest Alberta does not understand Quebec, which is unsurprising because most of Canada does not understand Quebec.
Nevertheless, I shall provide what assessment I can.
Sur le caractère de l'Alberta:
Alberta is a Western province.
This is the most I can say with confidence. Alberta is located in the west. It is large. It contains Calgary, which hosts a cowboy festival of some kind, and Edmonton, which contains a very large shopping centre. There are mountains on one edge, I believe, though those may technically belong to British Columbia.
Alberta has oil. Quebec has hydroelectricity. We do not discuss these things.
Alberta has, at various times, expressed frustration with the federal government. Quebec understands this frustration intimately, though Quebec's frustrations are rooted in linguistic, cultural, and historical grievances that Alberta cannot claim. Alberta's frustrations appear to be primarily financial. This is a different category of grievance, though I acknowledge that a grievance is a grievance.
Sur l'aptitude de l'Alberta à adopter:
I have no information that would disqualify Alberta from adopting Texas.
I also have no information that would particularly qualify Alberta, but this is because I have limited information about Alberta generally. Alberta does not occupy significant space in Quebec's consciousness. This is not intended as an insult. Very few things outside Quebec occupy significant space in Quebec's consciousness. We have our own matters to attend to.
Texas, I am told, is large, speaks English, produces oil, and has strong regional identity. In these respects, Texas is similar to Alberta. They may be well-suited.
Texas also, I am told, has a complicated relationship with its federal government and has periodically contemplated independence. In this respect, Quebec feels a certain kinship with Texas, though Quebec's contemplation of independence is rooted in profound cultural and linguistic distinctiveness, while Texas's contemplation appears to be rooted in... enthusiasm.
Sur les préoccupations:
I have one concern.
If Alberta adopts Texas and creates "South Alberta," what are the implications for French language rights?
Alberta's francophone population is small but exists. Alberta is officially subject to certain federal bilingualism requirements. If Texas—a jurisdiction of 30 million English-speakers—joins Alberta, the proportion of francophones in the combined entity becomes negligible. French-language services, already limited in Alberta, may become more limited still.
I request that the Court consider including conditions protecting French-language rights in the new jurisdiction. Not because I believe Alberta will honor such conditions—Alberta has never shown particular enthusiasm for bilingualism—but because the request should be made on principle.
Additionally, I note that Texas has a substantial Spanish-speaking population. If South Alberta establishes official language policies, Quebec suggests considering a multilingual framework that recognizes English, French, and Spanish. This would be unprecedented and complicated, but Quebec appreciates both unprecedented things and complicated things.
Recommandation:
I neither recommend approval nor recommend denial.
I simply note that Alberta has requested a reference, that I have provided what I can, and that Quebec's opinion on matters occurring in Western Canada is unlikely to be decisive in any event.
If the Court approves this adoption, Quebec wishes Alberta well, in the same way one wishes well to a distant cousin whose life choices one does not fully understand.
If the Court denies this adoption, Quebec will continue as before, which is to say, focused on Quebec.
Assermenté devant moi à Québec, ce 23e jour de janvier 2026.
LA PROVINCE DU QUÉBEC Par: L'indifférence polie de la Belle Province
P.S. — If Texas is interested in learning about what genuine cultural distinctiveness looks like, Quebec is available for consultation. Unlike Alberta, Quebec has actual distinct society credentials.
P.P.S. — Please do not interpret this reference as Quebec endorsing Canadian federalism. Quebec's participation in Confederation remains subject to ongoing internal debate. This reference is provided without prejudice to Quebec's future constitutional positions.
Report Content
Why are you reporting this content?
REFERENCE NO. 5
STATE OF OKLAHOMA
"Oklahoma is OK"
Relationship to Applicant: Texas's Current Neighbor to the North / Prospective Border State / Exhausted
TO THE HONOURABLE COURT OF KING'S BENCH OF ALBERTA:
Oh thank God someone's finally taking him.
I'm sorry, that's not professional. Let me start over.
I'm Oklahoma. I've been Texas's neighbor to the north for my entire existence. That's since 1907, so 119 years of sharing a 700-mile border with the most... confident... state in the Union.
I'm writing to express my strong support for this adoption.
On Texas:
Look, I need to be diplomatic here because Texas might read this and Texas is sensitive despite acting like it's not.
Texas is... a lot. Texas is the neighbor who plays music too loud but you can't complain because they own more guns than your entire block combined. Texas is the guy at the party who tells you about Texas within thirty seconds of meeting you. Texas is the relative who makes every holiday about them.
Texas has many good qualities. Texas is hardworking. Texas is friendly, genuinely friendly, to people who show appropriate respect for Texas. Texas has great food, beautiful landscapes, genuine cultural richness, and an economy larger than most countries.
But Texas is also exhausting.
Texas needs constant attention. Texas needs you to acknowledge that Texas is special. Texas will remind you that Texas was briefly an independent country, as if Oklahoma doesn't remember, as if anyone could forget because TEXAS NEVER STOPS MENTIONING IT.
I have been dealing with this for 119 years. I am tired.
On Alberta:
I don't know Alberta well. We don't share a border. But I've done my research since hearing about this adoption petition, and I think Alberta might actually be the right match.
Alberta also has oil. Alberta also has ranching. Alberta also has that independent streak, that "we don't need the federal government" attitude, that chip on the shoulder about not being appreciated by the national elite.
But here's the key difference: Alberta is one of ten provinces. Alberta has siblings who can share the load. Alberta has Saskatchewan to commiserate with, British Columbia to argue with, Ontario to resent. The attention gets distributed.
In America, Texas has no equivalent. Texas is the biggest, loudest, most Texas state, and the rest of us just have to deal with it. There's no counterweight. There's no balance.
If Texas moves to Canada—excuse me, to South Alberta—Texas becomes one of two regions in a new entity. Texas will have to share attention with Alberta. Texas will have to compromise with Alberta. Texas will have to occasionally admit that Texas is not the only thing that matters.
This might be good for Texas. It might teach Texas some humility.
It will definitely be good for me.
On My Qualifications to Assess:
I want to be clear: I am not a neutral party. I have skin in this game.
If Texas leaves, I become the biggest state in the former United States' southern-central region. I become relevant in ways I've never been relevant. People might actually remember that Oklahoma exists, rather than thinking of us as "the state above Texas" or "where the musical is set."
So yes, I'm biased. But I'm also honest about my bias, and I'm providing this reference anyway because my assessment is accurate regardless of my motivations.
On Practical Concerns:
If this adoption happens, I become a border state to South Alberta. I have some concerns:
I'm not saying these concerns should block the adoption. I'm saying someone needs to think about them, and I'd like to be consulted when you do.
Recommendation:
I enthusiastically recommend approval.
Take Texas. Please. Take Texas with my blessing.
I will miss certain things. I will miss the economic spillover from Dallas. I will miss being able to drive to Austin for music festivals. I will miss the friendly competition that has defined our relationship for over a century.
But I will not miss being overshadowed. I will not miss hearing about Texas every single day. I will not miss explaining to people that no, Oklahoma is not part of Texas, we are our own state with our own identity, even if that identity is hard to articulate when your neighbor is screaming about their identity 24/7.
Alberta: you're getting a good state. Texas has genuine virtues. Texas will work hard for you. Texas will bring economic strength, cultural vitality, and a sense of ambition that will push you to be better.
Texas will also drive you insane. Texas will demand attention constantly. Texas will never, ever let you forget that Texas used to be independent and could be again anytime Texas wants.
But you seem like you can handle it. You've got that same energy. Maybe you two deserve each other.
Good luck. Genuinely. You're going to need it.
Sworn before me at Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, this 23rd day of January, 2026.
THE STATE OF OKLAHOMA Per: The Relieved Sigh of the Sooner State
P.S. — About that land corridor everyone keeps mentioning. If you need a route through Oklahoma, let's talk. I'm open to options. All options.
P.P.S. — Please take Ted Cruz with Texas. Please.
Report Content
Why are you reporting this content?
REFERENCE NO. 6
THE KINGDOM OF NORWAY
"Alt for Norge"
Relationship to Applicant: Distant Northern Cousin / Model Resource Economy / Silent Disappointment
TO THE HONOURABLE COURT OF KING'S BENCH OF ALBERTA:
The Kingdom of Norway has been invited to provide a character reference for the Province of Alberta's adoption application. We provide this reference as a jurisdiction with relevant experience in petroleum-based prosperity and its long-term management.
On Our Relationship with Alberta:
Norway and Alberta have no direct relationship. We share no border. We have no treaty. We operate in entirely different geopolitical contexts.
And yet, we are often compared.
Alberta discovered significant oil reserves in 1947. Norway discovered significant oil reserves in 1969. Both jurisdictions faced the question of how to manage sudden resource wealth for the benefit of current and future generations.
Norway established the Government Pension Fund Global, commonly known as the Oil Fund, in 1990. It is now worth approximately $1.4 trillion USD, making it the largest sovereign wealth fund in the world. It owns approximately 1.5% of all listed companies globally. It provides Norway with permanent financial security regardless of future oil prices.
Alberta established the Heritage Savings Trust Fund in 1976. It is now worth approximately $24 billion CAD. It has been repeatedly accessed for general operating expenses. It provides Alberta with modest supplementary revenue and a reminder of what might have been.
We note these facts without judgment. Every jurisdiction makes its own choices. Alberta chose differently than Norway chose. That is Alberta's right.
But we must observe that Texas, upon joining Alberta, will be joining a jurisdiction that has not demonstrated optimal long-term resource management. Texas should enter this adoption with realistic expectations about fiscal discipline.
On Alberta's Character:
We have limited direct knowledge of Alberta's character. Our assessment is based on observation from a distance.
Alberta appears to be hardworking. Alberta appears to be proud. Alberta appears to have strong feelings about its relationship with its federal government—feelings that Norway, as an independent nation, does not fully understand but can abstractly appreciate.
Alberta also appears to be volatile. Alberta's fiscal situation swings with commodity prices. Alberta's political mood swings with fiscal situation. Alberta has, at various times, threatened to separate from Canada, demanded changes to equalization formulas, and expressed grievances with varying degrees of intensity.
This is not disqualifying for adoption. Many fit parents have intense personalities. But we note it for the record.
On Environmental Considerations:
Norway has committed to net-zero emissions by 2050. Norway has invested heavily in electric vehicles, renewable energy, and emissions reduction. Norway continues to extract petroleum but acknowledges the tension between this extraction and climate commitments.
Alberta's position on climate appears to be... evolving. We encourage Alberta, and the prospective South Alberta, to consider that petroleum wealth is finite and that long-term prosperity requires transition planning.
We offer this observation not as criticism but as experience. Norway has grappled with these tensions. We do not claim to have resolved them. But we have tried to be honest about them, and we recommend that Alberta do the same.
On the Adoption Specifically:
We have no objection to Alberta adopting Texas.
Texas is a large jurisdiction with significant petroleum resources. Alberta is a large jurisdiction with significant petroleum resources. Together, they would constitute a major force in global energy markets.
Whether this is desirable depends on one's perspective on global energy markets. We express no view.
We simply note that if South Alberta wishes to learn from other resource-based economies about sustainable long-term management, Norway is available for consultation. We have made mistakes. We have also made decisions we are proud of. We are happy to share both.
Recommendation:
Norway neither endorses nor opposes this adoption.
We provide this reference as contextual information. Alberta has strengths. Alberta has weaknesses. Alberta has chosen paths that differ from ours. Texas should be aware of all of these things.
We wish Alberta well in whatever it undertakes.
And we gently suggest that perhaps—perhaps—the new South Alberta could establish a sovereign wealth fund and actually fund it properly this time.
Just a thought.
Affirmed at Oslo, Norway, this 23rd day of January, 2026.
THE KINGDOM OF NORWAY Per: The Diplomatic Restraint of Scandinavian Observation
P.S. — We understand that this reference may come across as condescending. We apologize. It is difficult to discuss resource management with jurisdictions that had the same opportunities we had and made different choices. We do not intend to lecture. We simply find it... hard... to not mention the numbers. $1.4 trillion versus $24 billion. We will stop now.
Report Content
Why are you reporting this content?
REFERENCE NO. 7
THE PROVINCE OF ONTARIO
"Yours to Discover"
Relationship to Applicant: Central Canadian Sibling / Equalization Donor / Confused But Supportive
TO THE HONOURABLE COURT OF KING'S BENCH OF ALBERTA:
I'll be honest: I'm not entirely sure what's happening here.
Alberta wants to adopt Texas? The state? The American state? And this is... actually being filed with a real court?
I've read the application three times. I've consulted with my legal advisors. I've called Saskatchewan to ask if this is some kind of western prank. Saskatchewan sounded tired and said it wasn't a prank and that I should just write the reference.
So here I am. Writing a reference for my sibling province's application to adopt an American state roughly seven times its size.
Sure. Fine. This is fine.
On Alberta's Character:
Alberta is my sibling. We disagree about virtually everything—equalization, climate policy, the appropriate role of the federal government, whether it's acceptable to complain about Ottawa while accepting federal transfers—but Alberta is still family.
Alberta is proud. Too proud, sometimes. Alberta takes offense easily, holds grudges long, and never forgets a perceived slight. Alberta has been mad about the National Energy Program since 1980, which was before many current Albertans were born. Alberta collects grievances like some people collect stamps.
But Alberta is also generous. When Alberta is prosperous, Alberta contributes. Alberta has sent more money east through various federal programs than Alberta likes to acknowledge. Alberta welcomes newcomers. Alberta builds things.
Would Alberta be a good parent? I think so. Alberta has resources, determination, and genuine care for its communities. Alberta would not neglect Texas. Alberta would work hard to make this adoption succeed.
Whether Texas wants a parent this intense is another question.
On the Implications for Confederation:
I must raise a concern that may not be within this Court's jurisdiction but matters to Canada.
If Alberta adopts Texas, what happens to Alberta's relationship with Canada?
The application refers to "South Alberta" as if it's a new entity. But Alberta is a Canadian province. Alberta can't just... create a new country... without Canada's involvement. Can it?
I genuinely don't know the constitutional law here. I'm not sure anyone does. This situation has never arisen because this situation is insane.
If Alberta intends to remain part of Canada while absorbing Texas, that requires negotiation with the federal government and, arguably, the other provinces. If Alberta intends to leave Canada as part of this adoption, that requires... I don't even know. A constitutional amendment? A referendum? National nervous breakdown?
I would like clarity before endorsing this application. I'm not saying no. I'm saying I have questions.
On Texas:
I have limited direct experience with Texas.
Texans I've met have been friendly and loud. Texas appears to have good barbecue. Texas has several sports teams that have beaten Toronto teams over the years, which I remember with moderate resentment.
Texas is very large. Texas would make South Alberta very large. Larger than Ontario. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I've been the biggest province for a while now. It's been nice.
But I suppose if Alberta is determined to do this, I should be supportive rather than petty.
I'm trying.
Recommendation:
I tentatively recommend approval, subject to clarification of the constitutional implications.
Alberta is capable of parenting Texas. Alberta is motivated. Alberta is resourced. The cultural fit appears strong.
But someone needs to explain to me what this means for Canada. Am I losing a sibling? Gaining a... nephew? Is South Alberta a province, a country, or some new category of entity that doesn't exist yet?
I support Alberta's happiness. I support Alberta's ambitions. I just want to understand what I'm supporting before I commit.
Please advise.
Sworn before me at Toronto, Ontario, this 23rd day of January, 2026.
THE PROVINCE OF ONTARIO Per: The Bewildered Pragmatism of Central Canada
P.S. — If South Alberta does become a separate country, I need to know about tariffs on Alberta beef. I have restaurants to think about.
P.P.S. — Does Texas have good healthcare? I'm asking for Alberta's sake. Alberta, call me. We should talk about this. I'm worried about you.
Report Content
Why are you reporting this content?
CERTIFICATE OF COMPILATION
I hereby certify that the foregoing character references have been compiled and submitted in support of Court File No. 2026-SALBERTA-001.
References received from:
Additional references may be submitted as received.
Dated this 23rd day of January, 2026.
Filed with the Court of King's Bench of Alberta Court File No. 2026-SALBERTA-001
Report Content
Why are you reporting this content?