PROVINCE OF BRITISH COLUMBIA Supreme Court of British Columbia — Family Division Vancouver Registry
ADOPTION APPLICATION File No.: 2026-BCOR-001
Applicant: Province of British Columbia
Proposed Adoptee: State of Oregon
Co-Signer: Province of Alberta (pending confirmation)
STATEMENT OF INTENT
British Columbia hereby declares its intent to adopt the State of Oregon into the Canadian provincial family.
This is not impulsive. We've been thinking about this for decades. The Cascadia flag has been flying at protests and coffee shops on both sides of the border since the 1970s. We've just been too passive-aggressive to make it official.
Until now.
THE CASE FOR OREGON
Cultural Alignment:
| Characteristic | British Columbia | Oregon |
| Motto | "Splendor Without Diminishment" | "She Flies With Her Own Wings" |
| Vibe | Smug environmentalism | Smug environmentalism |
| Major City Personality | Vancouver: expensive, rainy, thinks it's better than everyone | Portland: weird, rainy, thinks it's better than everyone |
| Coffee | Obsessed | Obsessed |
| Craft Beer | Obsessed | Obsessed |
| Cannabis | Legal (early adopter) | Legal (early adopter) |
| Hiking | Personality trait | Personality trait |
| Tech Industry | Growing (Vancouver) | Growing (Portland/Silicon Forest) |
| Housing Crisis | Severe | Getting there |
| Sales Tax | 7% PST + 5% GST | 0% (!!!) |
Wait, Oregon has no sales tax?
We're choosing to overlook this incompatibility. Love is about compromise.
Geographic Alignment:
- Shared coastline (Pacific Ocean)
- Shared mountain ranges (Cascades)
- Shared rainforests (temperate, mossy, very aesthetic)
- Shared rivers (Columbia River basin)
- Shared smugness about all of the above
The Cascadia Dream:
The bioregion of Cascadia — spanning from Alaska to Northern California, from the Pacific to the Rockies — has long been imagined as a unified entity. The watershed doesn't care about borders. The salmon don't care about borders. The Douglas firs don't care about borders.
Only governments care about borders.
This adoption is the first step toward recognizing what the land already knows: we belong together.
WHAT BC OFFERS OREGON
- Universal Healthcare
- Oregon has tried. The Oregon Health Plan was pioneering. But it's still American healthcare, which means it's still broken.
- BC offers: MSP coverage, no medical bankruptcies, prescription drug coverage
- Yes, there are wait times. But there are also no GoFundMe campaigns for insulin.
- Electoral Sanity
- Oregon already votes by mail. Good.
- BC offers: Multi-party system, no Electoral College, ranked ballots in some municipalities
- Your vote will count. Every time. Without driving to a church basement.
- Transit Investment
- Portland has MAX light rail. Respectable.
- BC offers: SkyTrain expansion, BC Ferries integration, high-speed rail studies (perpetually)
- Imagine: Vancouver to Portland by train. 4 hours. Scenic. No TSA.
- Climate Policy
- Oregon tries. BC tries harder (sometimes).
- Carbon tax, clean energy investments, EV incentives
- We'll fail together, but at least we'll fail while trying
- The Ocean
- You have it. We have it. Together, we'd have more of it.
- Combined coastline management
- Shared marine protection
United front against offshore drilling
WHAT OREGON OFFERS BC
- No Sales Tax
- Just kidding, we're going to ruin this for you. Sorry.
- (Transition period negotiable)
- Powell's Books
- The largest independent bookstore in the world
- BC will establish a permanent consulate inside Powell's
- This is non-negotiable
- Crater Lake
- We have beautiful lakes, but we don't have a lake inside a volcano
- This significantly improves our Instagram portfolio
- Pinot Noir
- Willamette Valley wine country
- Okanagan + Willamette = continental wine dominance
- Take that, California
- Weirdness
- "Keep Portland Weird" is an ethos
- Vancouver is weird but pretends it isn't
- Portland is weird and puts it on a bumper sticker
We could learn from this authenticity
PROPOSED TERMS
- Portland retains municipal autonomy and weirdness protections
- Eugene becomes a designated university/hippie preserve
- The coast remains accessible to all (no privatization)
- Voodoo Doughnut receives heritage designation
- Cascadia flag becomes official secondary flag
- Coffee quality standards are harmonized (upward)
Timbers and Whitecaps establish a "Cascadia Cup" (wait, this already exists — we're ahead of schedule)
TIMELINE
- Phase 1 (Years 1-3): Enhanced cooperation agreements, visa-free travel expansion, joint environmental initiatives
- Phase 2 (Years 4-7): Economic integration, healthcare reciprocity, educational partnerships
- Phase 3 (Years 8-15): Full provincial status, representation in Parliament, transition to Canadian systems
Phase 4 (Year 15+): Everyone forgets there was ever a border
Submitted with optimism and excellent coffee,
Province of British Columbia "Best Place on Earth" (Oregon can share the slogan)