THE WASHINGTON SITUATION

"Wait, What?"

Three weeks after BC's dual applications became public, the following letter arrived at the BC Legislature:

STATE OF WASHINGTON Office of the Governor Olympia

INQUIRY REGARDING PROVINCIAL ADOPTION PROCEEDINGS

To: Province of British Columbia From: State of Washington Date: [DATE] Re: What is happening?

Dear British Columbia,

We have become aware of your recent adoption applications for the State of Oregon and the State of Hawaii.

We have questions.

Question 1: Why Oregon?

Oregon is south of us. To reach Oregon from British Columbia, you must pass through Washington. We are literally between you. We share a border — 687 kilometers of border. We share the Salish Sea. We share the Cascades. Our largest cities are 230 kilometers apart.

You chose Oregon.

Question 2: Why Hawaii?

Hawaii is 4,400 kilometers away from you, in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. You do not share a border. You do not share a timezone. You do not share a climate.

You chose Hawaii.

Over us.

Question 3: What did we do?

We thought we had a good relationship. Canucks fans come to Seattle. Seahawks fans come to Vancouver. We share concerns about the Cascadia Subduction Zone. We both love coffee and hate umbrellas.

Was it something we said?

Was it the Kraken? Are you upset about the Kraken? We thought you'd be happy we got a hockey team. More rivalry. More competition. Good for everyone.

Is it the tech industry? Yes, we have Amazon and Microsoft. But so does Vancouver, kind of. We didn't think this was a problem.

Is it Seattle? Is Seattle too loud? Too much construction? We can tone it down.

Question 4: Is there still time?

We notice that your applications are not yet finalized. Hawaii seems complicated (the military situation, the distance). Oregon seems agreeable but slow-moving.

Could we... submit a counter-application?

Or could you withdraw one application and substitute Washington?

Or could this be a package deal? Oregon, Washington, AND BC? Cascadia, the full vision?

We are open to discussing terms.

Question 5: Should we be offended?

Our staff is divided on this question. Some believe this is a negotiating tactic, that BC is using Oregon and Hawaii to make us jealous, to prompt exactly this letter.

Others believe we have been genuinely rejected, that BC looked at the options and decided Washington was not desirable.

We do not know which interpretation is correct. This ambiguity is distressing.

Question 6: What happens to us if this proceeds?

If BC adopts Oregon, and Alberta adopts Texas, and Manitoba adopts Minnesota, Washington becomes... what? An American exclave? The only remaining Pacific Northwest state?

Bordered by:

• Canada (north)
• Oregon-Canada (south)
• Idaho (east) — Idaho doesn't count
• The ocean (west)

This is geographically and existentially uncomfortable.

We await your response.

Please advise on the following:

• Is there a path forward for Washington-BC relations?
• Were we ever under consideration?
• Is this about the Kraken? (We need to know.)

We have always valued our relationship with British Columbia. We hope that relationship can continue, whether or not Oregon and Hawaii become your provincial siblings.

But we would appreciate an explanation.

Sincerely,

State of Washington "The Evergreen State" Also beautiful. Also rainy. Also has coffee. Just saying.

ATTACHMENT A: Map showing Washington's location between BC and Oregon (in case you forgot) 

ATTACHMENT B: List of things Washington and BC have in common (12 pages) 

ATTACHMENT C: Seattle Kraken schedule (highlighted: games vs. Vancouver Canucks)