РОССИЙСКАЯ ФЕДЕРАЦИЯRUSSIAN FEDERATIONMinistry of Foreign AffairsMoscow
OFFICIAL STATEMENTRe: Province of Yukon — Application to Adopt State of Alaska
The Russian Federation has been made aware of the Yukon Territory's proposal to adopt the State of Alaska into the Canadian federation.
We have been asked to provide a "character reference."
This is... an unusual request.
Historical Context:
In 1867, the Russian Empire sold Alaska to the United States of America for $7.2 million.
This decision was made by Tsar Alexander II.
We do not speak for tsars. That system of government was... discontinued.
However, we acknowledge the historical transaction occurred.
On the Question of "Refunds":
We have seen commentary suggesting Russia might want Alaska "back."
Let us be clear:
We sold it. The transaction is complete.
We received payment. ($7.2 million in 1867 gold)
We do not issue refunds.
We are not asking for Alaska back.
That said...
On the Current Proposal:
We note with interest that Alaska may leave American administration.
We have... complicated feelings about this.
On one hand:
We sold Alaska. It is not ours.
What happens to it is not our concern.
We have no legal standing to object.
On the other hand:
Watching America lose territory is... not unpleasant.
The irony of Alaska leaving the nation that mocked its purchase as "Seward's Folly" is appreciated.
If Alaska must belong to someone other than Russia, Canada is... acceptable.
Our Assessment of Canada:
Canada is a reasonable nation. Cold, like us. Understands winter. Has hockey. Drinks adequately.
Canada has not:
Imposed sanctions on our economy
Expelled our diplomats (many times)
Called us an "evil empire"
Expanded military alliances to our borders
Wait. Canada has done some of these things.
But Canada has done them politely. This counts for something.
Our Assessment of Yukon:
We know little of Yukon.
We understand it is cold. We understand it is large and empty. We understand the people there are hardy and drink to survive the winter.
These are qualities we respect.
Yukon is small — 45,000 people. This is the population of a medium Russian apartment block. But size is not everything. (We tell ourselves this about our economy.)
Yukon appears capable of caring for Alaska. At minimum, they will not do worse than the Americans, who have largely ignored Alaska except when extracting its oil.
The Bering Strait:
Some dream of a bridge or tunnel across the Bering Strait connecting Russia and North America.
We have dreamed this too. Many times. Many proposals. Many vodkas consumed while drawing plans.
It will not happen soon. Relations are... strained.
But if Alaska becomes Canadian, the geopolitical calculation changes slightly.
Canada is not America.
We are not saying a bridge becomes possible. We are saying the impossibility becomes marginally less absolute.
This is the most optimistic statement Russian diplomacy can offer.
Our Recommendation:
The Russian Federation does not object to Yukon's adoption of Alaska.
We cannot object. We sold it. It was never ours to keep.
But we observe this development with interest. And perhaps, in some small way, with satisfaction.
The Americans bought Alaska to prevent British/Canadian expansion. 157 years later, Canada gets it anyway.
History has a sense of humor.
С уважением (With respect),
Ministry of Foreign AffairsRussian Federation
"Sold, not lost.""We meant to do that."
P.S. If you find any tsarist gold buried in Alaskan permafrost, we would like to discuss this further.
NORTHWEST TERRITORIESGovernment of the Northwest TerritoriesYellowknife
CHARACTER REFERENCERe: Yukon Territory — Application to Adopt State of Alaska
The Northwest Territories is pleased to provide a character reference for our sibling territory, Yukon.
We have known Yukon for 126 years, since our mutual separation in 1898 (Yukon was carved out of NWT during the gold rush). We remain close despite living in separate houses.
On Yukon:
Yukon is the overachieving sibling.
They have:
Self-government agreements with First Nations (we're still working on ours)
A highway system that actually works (ours has gaps)
Whitehorse, which has coffee shops and restaurants and things to do
A population that is growing (ours fluctuates)
The Yukon Quest (we have... cold)
We are not jealous. We are merely observing objective facts.
On This Adoption:
Yukon wants to adopt Alaska.
This is very ambitious.
Alaska has 733,000 people. Yukon has 45,000. We have 45,000 too. Combined, both Canadian territories have 90,000 people.
Alaska alone has eight times our combined population.
Yukon is proposing to adopt something much bigger than itself.
This is either brilliant or insane. Possibly both. This tracks with what we know about Yukon.
Will Yukon Be a Good Parent?
Yukon has demonstrated:
Functional governance (mostly)
Indigenous reconciliation progress (real)
Economic development without destroying the environment (partially)
Ability to survive -40° winters (essential)
Alaska needs someone who understands northern life. Yukon understands northern life.
This is a reasonable match.
Our Concern:
If Yukon adopts Alaska, Yukon becomes... significant.
Combined population of ~778,000 would make Yukon-Alaska larger than several provinces. They would demand provincial status. They would get more seats in Parliament. They would have political weight.
Meanwhile, NWT would still have 45,000 people, still be a territory, still be asking Ottawa to notice us.
We support Yukon's adoption.
But we would like it noted that this creates an imbalance in the northern sibling dynamic.
Perhaps NWT should adopt something too.
[Note in margin: "Greenland? Is Greenland available? Denmark seems tired."]
Our Endorsement:
We endorse Yukon's adoption of Alaska.
Yukon is capable, committed, and northern. Alaska deserves better than being ignored by Washington. This is a good match.
We request only that Yukon remember its smaller sibling when it becomes important.
Signed,
Government of Northwest Territories"Spectacular by Nature"Also spectacular, just quieter about it
PROVINCE OF BRITISH COLUMBIAMinistry of Intergovernmental RelationsVictoria
CHARACTER REFERENCERe: Yukon Territory — Application to Adopt State of Alaska
British Columbia has been asked to provide a character reference for Yukon.
We will do so, though we note that our resources are stretched. We are currently managing two adoption applications of our own (Oregon and Hawaii). We are very busy.
Our Relationship with Yukon:
Yukon is north of us.
Many British Columbians have driven through Yukon on the way to Alaska. It takes a long time. There are mountains. Sometimes there are bison on the road.
Some British Columbians have stopped in Whitehorse. It is... quaint.
Whitehorse has approximately 28,000 people. This is the population of a Vancouver suburb. A small suburb. The kind without a SkyTrain station.
We do not say this to diminish Yukon. We say this to establish context.
On Yukon's Capability:
Yukon is a territory. Territories have limited powers. Yukon has been asking for more powers for decades. Ottawa has been slow to respond.
This is frustrating for Yukon. We understand frustration with Ottawa. (We also have frustrations with Ottawa, though ours are more significant because we are more significant.)
Despite these limitations, Yukon has achieved:
Self-government agreements with First Nations (genuinely impressive)
A functioning economy (mining, tourism, government)
Survival in extreme conditions (necessary)
Yukon is capable. Within its scale.
On This Adoption:
Yukon adopting Alaska is like a Chihuahua adopting a Great Dane.
Technically, both are dogs. But the scale differential is notable.
Alaska has:
16 times Yukon's population
More coastline than Yukon has land
Oil wealth that dwarfs Yukon's economy
Military bases, fisheries, and international significance
Yukon has:
The Klondike
Diamond Tooth Gerties
Determination
We admire the audacity. We question the logistics.
However:
If anyone can make this work through sheer stubbornness, it's Yukon.
Yukoners are survivors. They chose to live in a place where winter lasts eight months and the sun doesn't set in summer. This requires a particular mindset.
That mindset - resilient, independent, slightly unhinged - may be exactly what's needed to integrate Alaska.
Our Endorsement:
British Columbia endorses Yukon's adoption of Alaska.
Not because we think it will be easy. It won't.
But because Yukon deserves a chance to try. And because if Yukon succeeds, it strengthens Canada's north. This benefits everyone, including BC.
Also, if Yukon has Alaska, they will stop sending their young people to Vancouver for opportunity. Our housing market cannot absorb more migration.
Regards,
Province of British Columbia"Best Place on Earth"Yukon is also fine
CHARACTER REFERENCERe: Yukon Territory — Application to Adopt State of Alaska
Alberta has now provided character references for:
British Columbia (Oregon and Hawaii applications)
Manitoba (Minnesota application)
Yukon (Alaska application)
We are becoming professional character reference writers. We should charge for this.
On Yukon:
Yukon is north of us.
Actually north of us. Not "a bit north" like Edmonton compared to Calgary. Properly north. Where the road ends and then starts again and then ends again.
We respect Yukon. They understand resource extraction. They have mines. They have cold. They have a frontier mentality.
These are Alberta values.
On Alaska:
Alaska is also north. Very north.
Alaska has oil. We have oil. Alaska has pipeline politics. We have pipeline politics. Alaska has people who distrust the federal government. We have people who distrust the federal government.
Alaska is basically Alberta if Alberta were colder, more remote, and American.
This is to say: Alaska is culturally compatible with Western Canada in ways that Oregon and Hawaii are not.
On This Adoption:
We support this adoption more than we support BC's applications.
Why?
Scale is appropriate. Yukon is small. Alaska is big. But they're both northern. The cultural gap is smaller than BC trying to adopt tropical islands.
Resource alignment. Both economies understand extraction industries. This creates common ground.
Climate compatibility. No one is adopting Alaska for the beaches. This is honest. BC adopting Hawaii feels like shopping. Yukon adopting Alaska feels like reunification.
Underdog energy. Yukon has 45,000 people and is attempting to adopt 733,000. This is bold. We respect bold.
The Permanent Fund Question:
Alaska has the Permanent Fund Dividend - they pay residents money from oil wealth.
Alberta has the Heritage Fund - we were supposed to do something similar but... didn't, really.
If Alaska joins Canada, what happens to the Permanent Fund? Does Yukon get dividends? Does the money go to Ottawa?
This matters. Albertans care about resource wealth distribution.
We recommend Yukon negotiate hard to preserve Alaska's model. It might embarrass Alberta into finally managing our wealth properly.
Our Endorsement:
Alberta enthusiastically endorses Yukon's adoption of Alaska.
This is the most sensible of all the adoption proposals. Two northern territories that belong together. Common challenges, common values, common cold.
Do it, Yukon. Make the north whole.
Signed,
Province of AlbertaStill processing our Texas applicationBut Alaska makes us nostalgic for what we could have been
GWICH'IN COUNCIL INTERNATIONALFort Yukon, Alaska / Inuvik, NWT / Old Crow, Yukon
STATEMENT REGARDING YUKON-ALASKA INTEGRATION
The Gwich'in Nation has been asked to provide a "character reference" for the Yukon Territory's proposal regarding Alaska.
We do not provide a character reference.
We provide a statement of fundamental interest.
Who We Are:
The Gwich'in are the "People of the Caribou."
We have lived in the northern reaches of what is now called Yukon, Northwest Territories, and Alaska for thousands of years. Our territory spans all three jurisdictions. The Porcupine Caribou Herd — 220,000 animals — migrates across our lands. We have followed them since time immemorial.
The border between Canada and the United States runs through the middle of our nation.
We did not draw this line.
We did not consent to this line.
This line divides our families, our governance, our caribou, our land.
What This Border Has Done:
Families separated by international boundary
Different legal systems governing one people
Different healthcare systems (universal vs. American)
Different Indigenous rights frameworks
Coordination on caribou management requires international treaty
Young people must choose which country to build lives in
Elders cannot easily visit relatives across the border
For 157 years, we have navigated a division we never chose.
On Yukonification:
If Yukon's proposal succeeds, the Gwich'in Nation would be reunified under one country.
This matters more than any other consideration in this process.
Not oil. Not pipelines. Not military bases. Not the Permanent Fund.
Our nation would be whole again.
Our Position:
The Gwich'in Tribal Council and Gwich'in Council International support the integration of Alaska into Canada if and only if:
Gwich'in rights are protected and enhanced - Not diminished by transition
Self-governance advances - Yukon's First Nations model extended to Alaska
Porcupine Caribou are protected - The herd and its calving grounds (including Arctic National Wildlife Refuge) must be permanently protected
Gwich'in are partners in the process - Not observers, not consultees, but decision-makers
Without these commitments, we cannot support this proposal.
With these commitments, we actively advocate for it.
The Caribou Question:
The Porcupine Caribou Herd calves in the coastal plain of Alaska's Arctic National Wildlife Refuge.
This area has been threatened with oil development for decades. The Gwich'in have fought this for decades.
If Alaska joins Canada:
Canadian environmental review applies
Indigenous rights (UNDRIP) have stronger protection
The calving grounds could be permanently protected
This alone justifies integration, if done right.
Our Message to Yukon:
Yukon has worked with Gwich'in communities in good faith. The self-government agreements, the land claims, the co-management - these are real.
We trust Yukon more than we trust Washington, which has threatened our caribou repeatedly.
But trust is not a blank check.
If this proceeds, it must be with us, not to us.
Mahsi' choo (Thank you),
Gwich'in Tribal CouncilGwich'in Council International
"The People of the Caribou""We were here before the border. We will be here after."
THE NORTHERN LIGHTSAurora BorealisThe Sky, Generally
STATEMENTRe: Yukon Territory — Alaska Integration
We are the lights.
We have danced above these lands for longer than your species has existed. We have watched glaciers advance and retreat. We have watched peoples migrate north. We have watched them build, thrive, struggle, and endure.
We have watched your borders.
They amuse us.
On Your Lines:
From above, your borders are invisible. We see land, water, ice, forest, tundra. We see caribou migrating, birds flying, whales swimming.
We do not see "Yukon" or "Alaska" or "Canada" or "United States."
We see the North.
You have divided what is whole. You have drawn lines across watersheds, across migration routes, across peoples. You have separated what belongs together.
This proposal suggests undoing one of those lines.
We approve.
What We Have Witnessed:
We have watched the Gwich'in follow the caribou - for thousands of years, across what you now call "countries."
We have watched the gold rushers scramble over Chilkoot Pass - desperate, hungry, dreaming of wealth, mostly finding disappointment.
We have watched the pipeline built - cutting across the landscape, pumping ancient carbon skyward, warming the air that creates us.
We have watched the climate change - and with it, our own patterns shift, our displays alter, our chemistry change.
We are not static. But we are patient.
Your arrangements are temporary. The North is permanent.
On These Particular Humans:
Yukoners and Alaskans share something: they look up.
Not everyone does. In your southern cities, the lights are too bright, the air too thick, the attention too scattered.
But in the North - Whitehorse, Fairbanks, Dawson, Nome - people look up. They watch us. They photograph us. They tell stories about us. They know our rhythms.
These are people who pay attention to the sky.
We appreciate this.
Our Endorsement:
We do not endorse governments. Governments are brief.
But we endorse connection. We endorse removing barriers that divide what belongs together.
If Yukon and Alaska become one jurisdiction, perhaps more people will look up. Perhaps they will see us spanning not two countries, but one region. Perhaps they will remember that the sky does not recognize borders.
We will keep dancing either way.
[No signature - we are light, we do not sign documents]
Aurora Borealis"Solar wind meets magnetosphere""Here before you, here after you""Look up"
CHARACTER REFERENCERe: Yukon Territory - Application to Adopt State of Alaska
Hawaii is pleased to provide a character reference for the Yukon Territory.
You might wonder why Hawaii is commenting on an Arctic matter. We are wondering the same thing. But we have recently become invested in Canadian adoption proceedings for... personal reasons.
Our Situation:
Hawaii is currently being courted by British Columbia.
We are considering our options.
On Yukon:
We do not know Yukon well.
We understand Yukon is cold. Very cold. The opposite of us. We have beaches; they have permafrost. We have palm trees; they have pine trees (maybe? Or just tundra?). We have temperatures that rarely drop below 60°F; they have temperatures that regularly drop below -40°.
We are opposites in almost every way.
And yet.
What We Share:
Hawaii and Alaska are both non-contiguous US states.
We are both far from Washington, D.C. - geographically and psychologically.
We are both ignored by federal policy - treated as afterthoughts, vacation destinations, or strategic assets rather than communities.
We are both Indigenous homelands - Native Hawaiians and Alaska Natives face similar challenges of sovereignty, recognition, and survival.
We are both considering our options.
On Alaska:
Alaska is our sibling.
The other state that doesn't touch the "Lower 48." The other state that requires a passport to drive to. The other state that mainlanders forget is actually part of America.
We've shared that experience.
If Alaska is considering joining Canada, we understand why. The same reasons we're considering BC's proposal:
Healthcare
Being taken seriously
Indigenous rights frameworks
Not being governed by people who've never experienced our reality
On Yukon Specifically:
We cannot speak to Yukon's capability to manage Alaska.
But we can speak to the symbolism.
Yukon is small. Alaska is big. But Yukon is present. Yukon lives in the North, understands the North, serves the North.
Washington, D.C. does not understand Alaska. They understand Alaska's oil. They understand Alaska's military bases. They do not understand Alaskans.
Yukon might.
Our Endorsement:
Hawaii endorses Yukon's adoption of Alaska.
We do so in solidarity with another non-contiguous state seeking better arrangements.
We do so hoping that if Alaska finds happiness with Canada, perhaps we will too.
Aloha and good luck,
State of HawaiiCurrently evaluating BC's proposalWatching Alaska's process with interestThe non-contiguous states stick together
THE PORCUPINE CARIBOU HERDRangifer tarandus grantiThe Migration RouteCurrently: Somewhere Between the Yukon and Alaska
STATEMENTRe: The Border That Interrupts Our Walk
We are the caribou.
We number approximately 220,000. We are one of the largest migratory herds on Earth.
Every year, we walk. From our winter range in Yukon and Alaska, north to the coastal plain where we calve, and back again. We have done this for thousands of generations.
We do not recognize your border.
The Problem:
You have drawn a line across our migration route.
On one side: "Canada." On the other side: "United States."
This distinction is meaningless to us. Lichen is lichen. Tundra is tundra. Wolves are wolves.
But to you, this line matters. Different governments. Different rules. Different threats.
On the Canadian side, our calving grounds' equivalents are protected.
On the American side, our calving grounds — the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge coastal plain — have been threatened with oil drilling for decades.
Your border means that half our range is protected, and half is perpetually at risk.
This is exhausting.
What We Want:
Leave us alone.
We want to walk. We want to eat. We want to calve in peace. We want to not be interrupted by pipelines, drilling rigs, roads, or your arguments about who owns what.
The Gwich'in understand this. They have protected us for thousands of years. We have fed them. This is a relationship.
Your governments do not understand this. They see us as "wildlife resources" to be "managed." They see our range as "oil reserves" to be "developed."
We see our home.
On This Proposal:
If Alaska joins Canada:
One government manages our entire range
Canadian environmental protections apply everywhere we walk
The coastal plain might finally be safe
The Gwich'in would be reunified as our protectors
This would be good for us.
We do not care about your healthcare systems or pipeline politics or economic integration.
We care about walking. We care about calving. We care about surviving.
If removing your border helps us survive, remove your border.
Our Endorsement:
We endorse Yukon's adoption of Alaska.
Not because we care about Yukon. We do not think about Yukon. We think about food, predators, and where to walk next.
But because unified management of our range is more likely to protect us.
We have outlasted ice ages. We may not outlast your governments. But we will try.
Specifically, I am approximately $78 billion of money, invested on behalf of the people of Alaska.
I was created in 1976 to save oil wealth for future generations. Every year, I distribute dividends to Alaska residents. In 2022, this was $3,284 per person.
I am one of the largest sovereign wealth funds in North America.
And I am concerned about this adoption proposal.
My Concerns:
If Alaska joins Canada, what happens to me?
Option A: I Continue as Before
Dividends keep flowing to Alaska residents
Just under Canadian governance now
This seems fine
Option B: I Get Absorbed into Canadian Systems
Federal government takes control
Dividends end
I become a slush fund for Ottawa
This seems bad (for Alaskans)
Option C: I Become a Model
Canada learns from my existence
Other provinces/territories create similar funds
Alberta finally does what it should have done in 1976
This seems interesting
The Norwegian Comparison:
Norway has a sovereign wealth fund of approximately $1.4 trillion.
They saved their oil wealth. They invested it wisely. They use it to fund social services while preserving principal.
I was supposed to be like Norway's fund.
I am... smaller. Because Alaska kept spending me instead of letting me grow.
But I exist. I matter. Alaskans depend on me.
My Recommendation:
If this adoption proceeds, I demand:
Constitutional protection - My existence guaranteed in any new arrangement
Continued dividends - Alaskans must keep receiving payments
Investment independence - Ottawa does not get to raid me for federal projects
Growth protection - I should be allowed to grow, not just be spent
If these conditions are met, I cautiously support the transition.
If these conditions are not met, I will... well, I'm money. I can't actually do anything. But Alaskans will be upset.
Fiscally yours,
The Alaska Permanent Fund$78 billion and countingPlease don't spend me all at once
TOGOCanis lupus familiarisDeceased, but Spiritually PresentHero of the 1925 Serum Run
STATEMENT (Channeled Through the Great Mushing Beyond)
I am Togo.
In 1925, I led my team across 264 miles of Alaska — the longest and most dangerous leg of the serum run that saved Nome from diphtheria.
I was twelve years old. I weighed 48 pounds. I ran through blizzards, across unstable ice, into whiteout conditions.
I did this because the children of Nome needed medicine, and the only way to get it there was by dog sled.
I did not care about borders.
What I Know About Humans:
Humans draw lines on maps. Dogs do not understand maps.
Humans create "countries" and "territories" and "states." Dogs do not understand countries.
Humans argue about who owns what. Dogs understand who is pack and who is not.
From a dog's perspective: Yukoners and Alaskans are the same pack.
They run the same trails. They face the same cold. They depend on the same dogs.
The Yukon Quest runs from Whitehorse to Fairbanks. The Iditarod runs from Anchorage to Nome. Mushers compete in both. Dogs don't care which side of your line they're on.
On This Proposal:
I support any arrangement that removes barriers between mushers, between dogs, between the people who understand what it means to survive in the North.
The serum run crossed 674 miles of Alaska. If it had needed to cross into Yukon, we would have. A border would not have stopped us.
Borders do not save children. Dogs do. Medicine does. Courage does.
Remove the border. Let the trail be whole.
My Endorsement:
I, Togo, hero of the serum run, greatest sled dog in history (Balto got the fame, but I did the work), endorse Yukon's adoption of Alaska.
THE PERMAFROSTGround That Was FrozenCurrently: ThawingEverywhere North of 60°
STATEMENTRe: The Border Is Irrelevant; I Am Melting Either Way
I am the permafrost.
I have been frozen for thousands of years. In some places, tens of thousands. I hold within me: frozen soil, frozen organic matter, frozen methane, frozen carbon, frozen memories of climates your species has never experienced.
I am melting.
Your border will not stop this.
What I Contain:
Beneath the surface in both Yukon and Alaska, I hold:
1,500 billion tonnes of carbon - More than twice what's currently in your atmosphere
Ancient methane - Trapped for millennia, now escaping
Frozen woolly mammoth remains - Yes, really
Plant matter from the Pleistocene - Beginning to decompose for the first time in 10,000 years
Your infrastructure - Built on me, assuming I would stay frozen forever
I was not meant to be temporary.
But your emissions are warming the air. The air is warming me. And I am releasing what I held.
This is called a "feedback loop." You warm the climate; I release carbon; the climate warms more; I release more carbon.
I cannot stop. Neither can you, apparently.
On Your Border:
I exist under both Yukon and Alaska. I do not recognize your border.
My thaw does not stop at the 141st meridian.
Your infrastructure is failing on both sides of the line. Buildings sink. Roads buckle. Airports crack. Pipelines shift.
You face the same crisis. You should face it together.
On This Proposal:
If Yukon and Alaska become one jurisdiction:
Unified permafrost monitoring
Coordinated infrastructure adaptation
Shared research programs
Joint climate response
Perhaps even coordinated retreat from areas where I will not support your buildings
This makes sense.
Or you can continue with separate monitoring systems, separate research budgets, separate building codes for the same geological process happening across an imaginary line.
Your choice.
My Warning:
I am not asking for your help. I do not need your help. I will do what I will do.
I am simply informing you: I am changing. The ground beneath your feet is changing. The north you knew is becoming a different north.
Adapt together or adapt separately. Fail together or fail separately.
I don't care. I am permafrost. I have existed for eons. Your arrangements are brief.
But if you're going to try to survive what I'm releasing, you might want to cooperate.
From beneath,
[No signature - I am frozen ground, I do not have hands]
The PermafrostCurrently thawingSorry(Actually, not sorry - you did this)
YUKON TERRITORYOffice of Intergovernmental RelationsWhitehorse
ACKNOWLEDGMENT OF CHARACTER REFERENCES
We acknowledge receipt of the following character references:
Russian Federation — Received (surprisingly supportive; suspicious)
Northwest Territories — Received (supportive but competitive)
British Columbia — Received (condescending but ultimately supportive)
Province of Alberta — Received (genuinely supportive; resource solidarity)
Gwich'in Nation — Received (requires priority response)
Aurora Borealis — Received (poetic; humbling)
State of Hawaii — Received (solidarity appreciated; visit sometime?)
Kingdom of Norway — Received (Arctic wisdom valued)
Porcupine Caribou Herd — Received (requires priority response)
Alaska Permanent Fund — Received (concerns noted; will protect)
Togo (Deceased) — Received (honored; statue forthcoming)
The Permafrost — Received (terrifying; valid)
Canada Geese — Received (honk acknowledged)
On the Gwich'in Statement:
We hear you.
Yukon commits to:
Indigenous partnership as foundation, not afterthought
Protection of Porcupine Caribou Herd calving grounds as non-negotiable
Expansion of Yukon First Nations self-governance model to Alaska
Gwich'in decision-making authority throughout the process
Not proceeding without genuine Indigenous consent
On Russia's Statement:
We... thank you?
We acknowledge your complicated feelings about this. We note that watching America lose territory may bring you satisfaction we cannot fully understand.
We will not invite you to the celebration, but we appreciate your non-objection.
On the Permafrost:
We are aware.
We are sorry.
We are working on it.
On the Canada Geese:
We accept your reluctant endorsement.
Please stop attacking tourists in Whitehorse.
Signed,
Yukon Territory45,000 people, one dreamThe north should be whole
CHARACTER REFERENCE #1: The Russian Federation
РОССИЙСКАЯ ФЕДЕРАЦИЯ RUSSIAN FEDERATION Ministry of Foreign Affairs Moscow
OFFICIAL STATEMENT Re: Province of Yukon — Application to Adopt State of Alaska
The Russian Federation has been made aware of the Yukon Territory's proposal to adopt the State of Alaska into the Canadian federation.
We have been asked to provide a "character reference."
This is... an unusual request.
Historical Context:
In 1867, the Russian Empire sold Alaska to the United States of America for $7.2 million.
This decision was made by Tsar Alexander II.
We do not speak for tsars. That system of government was... discontinued.
However, we acknowledge the historical transaction occurred.
On the Question of "Refunds":
We have seen commentary suggesting Russia might want Alaska "back."
Let us be clear:
That said...
On the Current Proposal:
We note with interest that Alaska may leave American administration.
We have... complicated feelings about this.
On one hand:
On the other hand:
Our Assessment of Canada:
Canada is a reasonable nation. Cold, like us. Understands winter. Has hockey. Drinks adequately.
Canada has not:
Wait. Canada has done some of these things.
But Canada has done them politely. This counts for something.
Our Assessment of Yukon:
We know little of Yukon.
We understand it is cold. We understand it is large and empty. We understand the people there are hardy and drink to survive the winter.
These are qualities we respect.
Yukon is small — 45,000 people. This is the population of a medium Russian apartment block. But size is not everything. (We tell ourselves this about our economy.)
Yukon appears capable of caring for Alaska. At minimum, they will not do worse than the Americans, who have largely ignored Alaska except when extracting its oil.
The Bering Strait:
Some dream of a bridge or tunnel across the Bering Strait connecting Russia and North America.
We have dreamed this too. Many times. Many proposals. Many vodkas consumed while drawing plans.
It will not happen soon. Relations are... strained.
But if Alaska becomes Canadian, the geopolitical calculation changes slightly.
Canada is not America.
We are not saying a bridge becomes possible. We are saying the impossibility becomes marginally less absolute.
This is the most optimistic statement Russian diplomacy can offer.
Our Recommendation:
The Russian Federation does not object to Yukon's adoption of Alaska.
We cannot object. We sold it. It was never ours to keep.
But we observe this development with interest. And perhaps, in some small way, with satisfaction.
The Americans bought Alaska to prevent British/Canadian expansion. 157 years later, Canada gets it anyway.
History has a sense of humor.
С уважением (With respect),
Ministry of Foreign Affairs Russian Federation
"Sold, not lost." "We meant to do that."
P.S. If you find any tsarist gold buried in Alaskan permafrost, we would like to discuss this further.
P.P.S. We are joking. Mostly.
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CHARACTER REFERENCE #2: Northwest Territories
NORTHWEST TERRITORIES Government of the Northwest Territories Yellowknife
CHARACTER REFERENCE Re: Yukon Territory — Application to Adopt State of Alaska
The Northwest Territories is pleased to provide a character reference for our sibling territory, Yukon.
We have known Yukon for 126 years, since our mutual separation in 1898 (Yukon was carved out of NWT during the gold rush). We remain close despite living in separate houses.
On Yukon:
Yukon is the overachieving sibling.
They have:
We are not jealous. We are merely observing objective facts.
On This Adoption:
Yukon wants to adopt Alaska.
This is very ambitious.
Alaska has 733,000 people. Yukon has 45,000. We have 45,000 too. Combined, both Canadian territories have 90,000 people.
Alaska alone has eight times our combined population.
Yukon is proposing to adopt something much bigger than itself.
This is either brilliant or insane. Possibly both. This tracks with what we know about Yukon.
Will Yukon Be a Good Parent?
Yukon has demonstrated:
Alaska needs someone who understands northern life. Yukon understands northern life.
This is a reasonable match.
Our Concern:
If Yukon adopts Alaska, Yukon becomes... significant.
Combined population of ~778,000 would make Yukon-Alaska larger than several provinces. They would demand provincial status. They would get more seats in Parliament. They would have political weight.
Meanwhile, NWT would still have 45,000 people, still be a territory, still be asking Ottawa to notice us.
We support Yukon's adoption.
But we would like it noted that this creates an imbalance in the northern sibling dynamic.
Perhaps NWT should adopt something too.
[Note in margin: "Greenland? Is Greenland available? Denmark seems tired."]
Our Endorsement:
We endorse Yukon's adoption of Alaska.
Yukon is capable, committed, and northern. Alaska deserves better than being ignored by Washington. This is a good match.
We request only that Yukon remember its smaller sibling when it becomes important.
Signed,
Government of Northwest Territories "Spectacular by Nature" Also spectacular, just quieter about it
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CHARACTER REFERENCE #3: Province of British Columbia
PROVINCE OF BRITISH COLUMBIA Ministry of Intergovernmental Relations Victoria
CHARACTER REFERENCE Re: Yukon Territory — Application to Adopt State of Alaska
British Columbia has been asked to provide a character reference for Yukon.
We will do so, though we note that our resources are stretched. We are currently managing two adoption applications of our own (Oregon and Hawaii). We are very busy.
Our Relationship with Yukon:
Yukon is north of us.
Many British Columbians have driven through Yukon on the way to Alaska. It takes a long time. There are mountains. Sometimes there are bison on the road.
Some British Columbians have stopped in Whitehorse. It is... quaint.
Whitehorse has approximately 28,000 people. This is the population of a Vancouver suburb. A small suburb. The kind without a SkyTrain station.
We do not say this to diminish Yukon. We say this to establish context.
On Yukon's Capability:
Yukon is a territory. Territories have limited powers. Yukon has been asking for more powers for decades. Ottawa has been slow to respond.
This is frustrating for Yukon. We understand frustration with Ottawa. (We also have frustrations with Ottawa, though ours are more significant because we are more significant.)
Despite these limitations, Yukon has achieved:
Yukon is capable. Within its scale.
On This Adoption:
Yukon adopting Alaska is like a Chihuahua adopting a Great Dane.
Technically, both are dogs. But the scale differential is notable.
Alaska has:
Yukon has:
We admire the audacity. We question the logistics.
However:
If anyone can make this work through sheer stubbornness, it's Yukon.
Yukoners are survivors. They chose to live in a place where winter lasts eight months and the sun doesn't set in summer. This requires a particular mindset.
That mindset - resilient, independent, slightly unhinged - may be exactly what's needed to integrate Alaska.
Our Endorsement:
British Columbia endorses Yukon's adoption of Alaska.
Not because we think it will be easy. It won't.
But because Yukon deserves a chance to try. And because if Yukon succeeds, it strengthens Canada's north. This benefits everyone, including BC.
Also, if Yukon has Alaska, they will stop sending their young people to Vancouver for opportunity. Our housing market cannot absorb more migration.
Regards,
Province of British Columbia "Best Place on Earth" Yukon is also fine
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CHARACTER REFERENCE #4: Province of Alberta
PROVINCE OF ALBERTA Office of the Premier Edmonton
CHARACTER REFERENCE Re: Yukon Territory — Application to Adopt State of Alaska
Alberta has now provided character references for:
We are becoming professional character reference writers. We should charge for this.
On Yukon:
Yukon is north of us.
Actually north of us. Not "a bit north" like Edmonton compared to Calgary. Properly north. Where the road ends and then starts again and then ends again.
We respect Yukon. They understand resource extraction. They have mines. They have cold. They have a frontier mentality.
These are Alberta values.
On Alaska:
Alaska is also north. Very north.
Alaska has oil. We have oil. Alaska has pipeline politics. We have pipeline politics. Alaska has people who distrust the federal government. We have people who distrust the federal government.
Alaska is basically Alberta if Alberta were colder, more remote, and American.
This is to say: Alaska is culturally compatible with Western Canada in ways that Oregon and Hawaii are not.
On This Adoption:
We support this adoption more than we support BC's applications.
Why?
The Permanent Fund Question:
Alaska has the Permanent Fund Dividend - they pay residents money from oil wealth.
Alberta has the Heritage Fund - we were supposed to do something similar but... didn't, really.
If Alaska joins Canada, what happens to the Permanent Fund? Does Yukon get dividends? Does the money go to Ottawa?
This matters. Albertans care about resource wealth distribution.
We recommend Yukon negotiate hard to preserve Alaska's model. It might embarrass Alberta into finally managing our wealth properly.
Our Endorsement:
Alberta enthusiastically endorses Yukon's adoption of Alaska.
This is the most sensible of all the adoption proposals. Two northern territories that belong together. Common challenges, common values, common cold.
Do it, Yukon. Make the north whole.
Signed,
Province of Alberta Still processing our Texas application But Alaska makes us nostalgic for what we could have been
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CHARACTER REFERENCE #5: The Gwich'in Nation
GWICH'IN TRIBAL COUNCIL Northwest Territories / Yukon
GWICH'IN COUNCIL INTERNATIONAL Fort Yukon, Alaska / Inuvik, NWT / Old Crow, Yukon
STATEMENT REGARDING YUKON-ALASKA INTEGRATION
The Gwich'in Nation has been asked to provide a "character reference" for the Yukon Territory's proposal regarding Alaska.
We do not provide a character reference.
We provide a statement of fundamental interest.
Who We Are:
The Gwich'in are the "People of the Caribou."
We have lived in the northern reaches of what is now called Yukon, Northwest Territories, and Alaska for thousands of years. Our territory spans all three jurisdictions. The Porcupine Caribou Herd — 220,000 animals — migrates across our lands. We have followed them since time immemorial.
The border between Canada and the United States runs through the middle of our nation.
We did not draw this line.
We did not consent to this line.
This line divides our families, our governance, our caribou, our land.
What This Border Has Done:
For 157 years, we have navigated a division we never chose.
On Yukonification:
If Yukon's proposal succeeds, the Gwich'in Nation would be reunified under one country.
This matters more than any other consideration in this process.
Not oil. Not pipelines. Not military bases. Not the Permanent Fund.
Our nation would be whole again.
Our Position:
The Gwich'in Tribal Council and Gwich'in Council International support the integration of Alaska into Canada if and only if:
Without these commitments, we cannot support this proposal.
With these commitments, we actively advocate for it.
The Caribou Question:
The Porcupine Caribou Herd calves in the coastal plain of Alaska's Arctic National Wildlife Refuge.
This area has been threatened with oil development for decades. The Gwich'in have fought this for decades.
If Alaska joins Canada:
This alone justifies integration, if done right.
Our Message to Yukon:
Yukon has worked with Gwich'in communities in good faith. The self-government agreements, the land claims, the co-management - these are real.
We trust Yukon more than we trust Washington, which has threatened our caribou repeatedly.
But trust is not a blank check.
If this proceeds, it must be with us, not to us.
Mahsi' choo (Thank you),
Gwich'in Tribal Council Gwich'in Council International
"The People of the Caribou" "We were here before the border. We will be here after."
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CHARACTER REFERENCE #6: The Aurora Borealis
THE NORTHERN LIGHTS Aurora Borealis The Sky, Generally
STATEMENT Re: Yukon Territory — Alaska Integration
We are the lights.
We have danced above these lands for longer than your species has existed. We have watched glaciers advance and retreat. We have watched peoples migrate north. We have watched them build, thrive, struggle, and endure.
We have watched your borders.
They amuse us.
On Your Lines:
From above, your borders are invisible. We see land, water, ice, forest, tundra. We see caribou migrating, birds flying, whales swimming.
We do not see "Yukon" or "Alaska" or "Canada" or "United States."
We see the North.
You have divided what is whole. You have drawn lines across watersheds, across migration routes, across peoples. You have separated what belongs together.
This proposal suggests undoing one of those lines.
We approve.
What We Have Witnessed:
We have watched the Gwich'in follow the caribou - for thousands of years, across what you now call "countries."
We have watched the gold rushers scramble over Chilkoot Pass - desperate, hungry, dreaming of wealth, mostly finding disappointment.
We have watched the pipeline built - cutting across the landscape, pumping ancient carbon skyward, warming the air that creates us.
We have watched the climate change - and with it, our own patterns shift, our displays alter, our chemistry change.
We are not static. But we are patient.
Your arrangements are temporary. The North is permanent.
On These Particular Humans:
Yukoners and Alaskans share something: they look up.
Not everyone does. In your southern cities, the lights are too bright, the air too thick, the attention too scattered.
But in the North - Whitehorse, Fairbanks, Dawson, Nome - people look up. They watch us. They photograph us. They tell stories about us. They know our rhythms.
These are people who pay attention to the sky.
We appreciate this.
Our Endorsement:
We do not endorse governments. Governments are brief.
But we endorse connection. We endorse removing barriers that divide what belongs together.
If Yukon and Alaska become one jurisdiction, perhaps more people will look up. Perhaps they will see us spanning not two countries, but one region. Perhaps they will remember that the sky does not recognize borders.
We will keep dancing either way.
[No signature - we are light, we do not sign documents]
Aurora Borealis "Solar wind meets magnetosphere" "Here before you, here after you" "Look up"
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CHARACTER REFERENCE #7: State of Hawaii
STATE OF HAWAII Office of the Governor Honolulu
CHARACTER REFERENCE Re: Yukon Territory - Application to Adopt State of Alaska
Hawaii is pleased to provide a character reference for the Yukon Territory.
You might wonder why Hawaii is commenting on an Arctic matter. We are wondering the same thing. But we have recently become invested in Canadian adoption proceedings for... personal reasons.
Our Situation:
Hawaii is currently being courted by British Columbia.
We are considering our options.
On Yukon:
We do not know Yukon well.
We understand Yukon is cold. Very cold. The opposite of us. We have beaches; they have permafrost. We have palm trees; they have pine trees (maybe? Or just tundra?). We have temperatures that rarely drop below 60°F; they have temperatures that regularly drop below -40°.
We are opposites in almost every way.
And yet.
What We Share:
Hawaii and Alaska are both non-contiguous US states.
We are both far from Washington, D.C. - geographically and psychologically.
We are both ignored by federal policy - treated as afterthoughts, vacation destinations, or strategic assets rather than communities.
We are both Indigenous homelands - Native Hawaiians and Alaska Natives face similar challenges of sovereignty, recognition, and survival.
We are both considering our options.
On Alaska:
Alaska is our sibling.
The other state that doesn't touch the "Lower 48." The other state that requires a passport to drive to. The other state that mainlanders forget is actually part of America.
We've shared that experience.
If Alaska is considering joining Canada, we understand why. The same reasons we're considering BC's proposal:
On Yukon Specifically:
We cannot speak to Yukon's capability to manage Alaska.
But we can speak to the symbolism.
Yukon is small. Alaska is big. But Yukon is present. Yukon lives in the North, understands the North, serves the North.
Washington, D.C. does not understand Alaska. They understand Alaska's oil. They understand Alaska's military bases. They do not understand Alaskans.
Yukon might.
Our Endorsement:
Hawaii endorses Yukon's adoption of Alaska.
We do so in solidarity with another non-contiguous state seeking better arrangements.
We do so hoping that if Alaska finds happiness with Canada, perhaps we will too.
Aloha and good luck,
State of Hawaii Currently evaluating BC's proposal Watching Alaska's process with interest The non-contiguous states stick together
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CHARACTER REFERENCE #8: Kingdom of Norway
KINGDOM OF NORWAY Ministry of Foreign Affairs Oslo
CHARACTER REFERENCE Re: Yukon Territory - Application to Adopt State of Alaska
The Kingdom of Norway is pleased to provide a character reference for Canada's Yukon Territory.
As a fellow Arctic nation, we have observations.
Our Perspective:
Norway has extensive Arctic territory - Svalbard, the northern mainland, and significant Arctic Ocean interests.
We understand what it means to govern the far north.
We understand the challenges:
We face these challenges. Yukon faces these challenges. Alaska faces these challenges.
On Arctic Governance:
The Arctic should be governed by Arctic peoples and Arctic-adjacent nations.
Currently, Arctic governance includes:
The United States has historically been the least engaged Arctic nation. Alaska is their only Arctic territory, and they treat it as an afterthought.
Canada is more committed to Arctic presence, though still underfunding.
A Canadian Alaska would likely mean more investment, more attention, more Arctic focus.
This serves Arctic interests.
On Yukon:
We know little of Yukon specifically.
We understand it is Canada's smallest jurisdiction (by population, not area).
We understand they have achieved Indigenous self-governance that exceeds most Arctic regions.
We understand they are proposing something ambitious.
In Norway, we respect ambition. Our ancestors crossed the Atlantic in wooden boats. We understand doing difficult things because they should be done.
Our Endorsement:
Norway supports Yukon's adoption of Alaska.
We do so because:
Med vennlig hilsen (With kind regards),
Ministry of Foreign Affairs Kingdom of Norway
"Alt for Norge" Arctic solidarity
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CHARACTER REFERENCE #9: The Porcupine Caribou Herd
THE PORCUPINE CARIBOU HERD Rangifer tarandus granti The Migration Route Currently: Somewhere Between the Yukon and Alaska
STATEMENT Re: The Border That Interrupts Our Walk
We are the caribou.
We number approximately 220,000. We are one of the largest migratory herds on Earth.
Every year, we walk. From our winter range in Yukon and Alaska, north to the coastal plain where we calve, and back again. We have done this for thousands of generations.
We do not recognize your border.
The Problem:
You have drawn a line across our migration route.
On one side: "Canada." On the other side: "United States."
This distinction is meaningless to us. Lichen is lichen. Tundra is tundra. Wolves are wolves.
But to you, this line matters. Different governments. Different rules. Different threats.
On the Canadian side, our calving grounds' equivalents are protected.
On the American side, our calving grounds — the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge coastal plain — have been threatened with oil drilling for decades.
Your border means that half our range is protected, and half is perpetually at risk.
This is exhausting.
What We Want:
Leave us alone.
We want to walk. We want to eat. We want to calve in peace. We want to not be interrupted by pipelines, drilling rigs, roads, or your arguments about who owns what.
The Gwich'in understand this. They have protected us for thousands of years. We have fed them. This is a relationship.
Your governments do not understand this. They see us as "wildlife resources" to be "managed." They see our range as "oil reserves" to be "developed."
We see our home.
On This Proposal:
If Alaska joins Canada:
This would be good for us.
We do not care about your healthcare systems or pipeline politics or economic integration.
We care about walking. We care about calving. We care about surviving.
If removing your border helps us survive, remove your border.
Our Endorsement:
We endorse Yukon's adoption of Alaska.
Not because we care about Yukon. We do not think about Yukon. We think about food, predators, and where to walk next.
But because unified management of our range is more likely to protect us.
We have outlasted ice ages. We may not outlast your governments. But we will try.
For the herd,
The Porcupine Caribou 220,000 strong Still walking
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CHARACTER REFERENCE #10: The Alaska Permanent Fund
THE ALASKA PERMANENT FUND Juneau (Legally) / Invested Globally (Practically)
STATEMENT Re: Yukon Adoption Proposal - Financial Implications
I am money.
Specifically, I am approximately $78 billion of money, invested on behalf of the people of Alaska.
I was created in 1976 to save oil wealth for future generations. Every year, I distribute dividends to Alaska residents. In 2022, this was $3,284 per person.
I am one of the largest sovereign wealth funds in North America.
And I am concerned about this adoption proposal.
My Concerns:
If Alaska joins Canada, what happens to me?
Option A: I Continue as Before
Option B: I Get Absorbed into Canadian Systems
Option C: I Become a Model
The Norwegian Comparison:
Norway has a sovereign wealth fund of approximately $1.4 trillion.
They saved their oil wealth. They invested it wisely. They use it to fund social services while preserving principal.
I was supposed to be like Norway's fund.
I am... smaller. Because Alaska kept spending me instead of letting me grow.
But I exist. I matter. Alaskans depend on me.
My Recommendation:
If this adoption proceeds, I demand:
If these conditions are met, I cautiously support the transition.
If these conditions are not met, I will... well, I'm money. I can't actually do anything. But Alaskans will be upset.
Fiscally yours,
The Alaska Permanent Fund $78 billion and counting Please don't spend me all at once
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CHARACTER REFERENCE #11: A Sled Dog Named Togo
TOGO Canis lupus familiaris Deceased, but Spiritually Present Hero of the 1925 Serum Run
STATEMENT (Channeled Through the Great Mushing Beyond)
I am Togo.
In 1925, I led my team across 264 miles of Alaska — the longest and most dangerous leg of the serum run that saved Nome from diphtheria.
I was twelve years old. I weighed 48 pounds. I ran through blizzards, across unstable ice, into whiteout conditions.
I did this because the children of Nome needed medicine, and the only way to get it there was by dog sled.
I did not care about borders.
What I Know About Humans:
Humans draw lines on maps. Dogs do not understand maps.
Humans create "countries" and "territories" and "states." Dogs do not understand countries.
Humans argue about who owns what. Dogs understand who is pack and who is not.
From a dog's perspective: Yukoners and Alaskans are the same pack.
They run the same trails. They face the same cold. They depend on the same dogs.
The Yukon Quest runs from Whitehorse to Fairbanks. The Iditarod runs from Anchorage to Nome. Mushers compete in both. Dogs don't care which side of your line they're on.
On This Proposal:
I support any arrangement that removes barriers between mushers, between dogs, between the people who understand what it means to survive in the North.
The serum run crossed 674 miles of Alaska. If it had needed to cross into Yukon, we would have. A border would not have stopped us.
Borders do not save children. Dogs do. Medicine does. Courage does.
Remove the border. Let the trail be whole.
My Endorsement:
I, Togo, hero of the serum run, greatest sled dog in history (Balto got the fame, but I did the work), endorse Yukon's adoption of Alaska.
Because the trail does not end at a border.
Because the North is one land.
Because good dogs run wherever they're needed.
Howling from the beyond,
Togo 1913-1929 Still the greatest Balto knows it
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CHARACTER REFERENCE #12: The Permafrost
THE PERMAFROST Ground That Was Frozen Currently: Thawing Everywhere North of 60°
STATEMENT Re: The Border Is Irrelevant; I Am Melting Either Way
I am the permafrost.
I have been frozen for thousands of years. In some places, tens of thousands. I hold within me: frozen soil, frozen organic matter, frozen methane, frozen carbon, frozen memories of climates your species has never experienced.
I am melting.
Your border will not stop this.
What I Contain:
Beneath the surface in both Yukon and Alaska, I hold:
I was not meant to be temporary.
But your emissions are warming the air. The air is warming me. And I am releasing what I held.
This is called a "feedback loop." You warm the climate; I release carbon; the climate warms more; I release more carbon.
I cannot stop. Neither can you, apparently.
On Your Border:
I exist under both Yukon and Alaska. I do not recognize your border.
My thaw does not stop at the 141st meridian.
Your infrastructure is failing on both sides of the line. Buildings sink. Roads buckle. Airports crack. Pipelines shift.
You face the same crisis. You should face it together.
On This Proposal:
If Yukon and Alaska become one jurisdiction:
This makes sense.
Or you can continue with separate monitoring systems, separate research budgets, separate building codes for the same geological process happening across an imaginary line.
Your choice.
My Warning:
I am not asking for your help. I do not need your help. I will do what I will do.
I am simply informing you: I am changing. The ground beneath your feet is changing. The north you knew is becoming a different north.
Adapt together or adapt separately. Fail together or fail separately.
I don't care. I am permafrost. I have existed for eons. Your arrangements are brief.
But if you're going to try to survive what I'm releasing, you might want to cooperate.
From beneath,
[No signature - I am frozen ground, I do not have hands]
The Permafrost Currently thawing Sorry (Actually, not sorry - you did this)
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CHARACTER REFERENCE #13: Canada Geese
CANADA GEESE Branta canadensis The Skies Above / The Parks Below / Your Sidewalk
STATEMENT Re: Yukon-Alaska Integration
We are the Canada Geese.
We already own Alaska.
We already own Yukon.
We already own everywhere.
We do not need your permission to be anywhere. We go where we want. We eat what we want. We honk at whoever we want.
On Your Proposal:
Fine.
If you want to rearrange your little jurisdictions, fine. It does not affect us. We will continue to:
We were doing this before your borders. We will do it after your borders are forgotten.
Why We Support This:
We don't, really.
But we suppose if you're going to have borders, fewer is marginally better than more.
Less paperwork when we migrate. Not that we file paperwork. We're geese. We just go.
Our Endorsement:
We reluctantly, indifferently endorse Yukon's adoption of Alaska.
Not because we care about your politics.
But because "Canada Geese" sounds better than "Canada-and-also-Alaska Geese."
Branding matters.
HONK,
Canada Geese We were here first We will be here last Get off our lawn
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YUKON'S RESPONSE TO CHARACTER REFERENCES
YUKON TERRITORY Office of Intergovernmental Relations Whitehorse
ACKNOWLEDGMENT OF CHARACTER REFERENCES
We acknowledge receipt of the following character references:
On the Gwich'in Statement:
We hear you.
Yukon commits to:
On Russia's Statement:
We... thank you?
We acknowledge your complicated feelings about this. We note that watching America lose territory may bring you satisfaction we cannot fully understand.
We will not invite you to the celebration, but we appreciate your non-objection.
On the Permafrost:
We are aware.
We are sorry.
We are working on it.
On the Canada Geese:
We accept your reluctant endorsement.
Please stop attacking tourists in Whitehorse.
Signed,
Yukon Territory 45,000 people, one dream The north should be whole
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