PROVINCIAL COURT OF SASKATCHEWAN
FAMILY DIVISION
IN THE MATTER OF:
The Adoption of THE STATE OF NORTH DAKOTA and THE STATE OF SOUTH DAKOTA
(hereinafter referred to as "the Children" or "the Dakota Twins")
AND IN THE MATTER OF:
The Application of THE PROVINCE OF SASKATCHEWAN
(hereinafter referred to as "the Applicant" or "Saskatchewan")
JOINT APPLICATION FOR ADOPTION OF SIBLING STATES
TAKE NOTICE that the Province of Saskatchewan hereby applies for an Order of Adoption in respect of the States of North Dakota and South Dakota, pursuant to the Interprovincial Adoption of American States Act (proposed), and further applies for an Order that the said children not be separated under any circumstances.
PART A: IDENTIFICATION OF THE CHILDREN
| Child 1: Full Legal Name: STATE OF NORTH DAKOTA Also Known As: "The Peace Garden State," "NoDak," "The Quiet One" Date of Birth: November 2, 1889 Place of Birth: The United States of America Current Age: 135 years Current Guardian: United States Federal Government Capital: Bismarck Population: Approximately 780,000 |
Child 2: Full Legal Name: STATE OF SOUTH DAKOTA Also Known As: "The Mount Rushmore State," "SoDak," "The One Everyone Remembers" Date of Birth: November 2, 1889 Place of Birth: The United States of America Current Age: 135 years (technically 30 minutes younger) Current Guardian: United States Federal Government Capital: Pierre Population: Approximately 910,000 |
PART B: GROUNDS FOR JOINT ADOPTION
The Applicant states the following grounds for this joint adoption:
- Sibling Bond: The Dakota Twins have been together since birth (literally the same day) and share an inseparable bond. North Dakota cannot properly function without knowing South Dakota is nearby, and vice versa. Separating them would cause immeasurable psychological harm.
- Complementary Natures: North Dakota brings quiet resilience, agricultural expertise, and an impressive lack of ego. South Dakota brings the tourist attractions, the face recognition (Mount Rushmore), and the ability to speak up in crowds. Together, they are complete.
- Shared Heritage: Both children were carved from the same Dakota Territory, share cultural connections to the Lakota, Dakota, and Nakota peoples, and have identical surnames. It would be unconscionable to separate siblings with the same last name.
- Prairie Continuity: Saskatchewan's prairies extend naturally into both Dakotas. The wheat does not recognize the border. The wind does not stop at the 49th parallel. The flatness is universal and unifying.
- Practical Considerations: The Applicant notes that attempting to adopt only one Dakota would result in constant requests for visitation, duplicate holiday arrangements, and awkward family photos with an obvious gap where the other Dakota should be standing.
PART C: DECLARATION OF NON-SEPARATION
The Applicant hereby declares and undertakes:
"Saskatchewan solemnly commits that the Dakota Twins shall never be separated for any reason, including but not limited to: administrative convenience, interprovincial disputes, territorial reorganization, or the unlikely event that one Dakota becomes significantly more annoying than the other. The Twins shall share equally in Saskatchewan's healthcare system, educational resources, Crown land access, and whatever other benefits confederation provides. Should anyone suggest separating the Dakotas, Saskatchewan will respond with the full force of prairie solidarity, which primarily consists of stern looks and disappointed silences."
PART D: APPLICANT'S QUALIFICATIONS
Saskatchewan submits that it is well-qualified to parent the Dakota Twins based on:
- Similar geography (flat, agricultural, prone to existential weather)
- Shared Indigenous heritage and commitment to reconciliation
- Comparable population density (i.e., "you can see your neighbours, but not without binoculars")
- Universal healthcare (no medical bankruptcies for minor farming accidents)
- A proven track record of raising provinces (Saskatchewan has responsibly existed since 1905)
- Adequate potash reserves to fund two additional state-children
- Experience with being overlooked by coastal regions
PART E: NOTICE TO CURRENT GUARDIAN
The Applicant acknowledges that the current guardian (United States Federal Government) has been notified of this application via the standard channels, which include:
- A formal letter sent to Washington, D.C. (expected response time: 6-8 years)
- A strongly worded diplomatic note
- A Facebook message (seen, not replied to)
- Mentioning it at the border crossing while the agent was distracted
PART F: PRAYER FOR RELIEF
WHEREFORE, the Applicant prays that this Honourable Court:
- Grant an Order of Adoption placing both North Dakota and South Dakota under the permanent care and jurisdiction of the Province of Saskatchewan;
- Declare that the Dakotas shall be treated as a single, indivisible family unit for all purposes;
- Order that the children's names be amended to include the suffix "-atchewan" as a sign of their new family membership (i.e., "North Dakotatchewan" and "South Dakotatchewan," or simply "The Saskatchewan Dakotas");
- Grant such further relief as this Honourable Court deems just.
DATED at Regina, Saskatchewan, this _____ day of __________, 20____.
___________________________________
THE PROVINCE OF SASKATCHEWAN
By its duly authorized representative
The Honourable Premier
Filed with: The Clerk of the Provincial Court of Saskatchewan, Family Division
Copy to: Department of Intergovernmental Affairs, Ottawa (Form OTT-1247B-Rev.C(iii))
Copy to: Province of Manitoba (as interested neighbour and character reference)
Copy to: State of Montana (for their information, no action required)